Random thoughts, perhaps a true Tangent

I keep expecting to wake up, as if I've been in a long deep sleep. Constantly at war with my own mind as if part of me screams at me to continue writing while another has all but given up on the who process. I am not sure if I had mentioned this before but I went to the Doctors the other day well about a month ago, the Insomnia was getting worse and worse to the point I was staying up for days on end. So as I spoke with the doctor I went over the list of medications I have taken in the past and what has worked, so we decided to go with Trazadone it has worked in the past greatly for my insomnia. but over the course of a few weeks I noiticed a complete change in my own demenour, my attitude, my general well being. I was being thrown off center and I could not put it together, well over a pretty intensive ingestigation into my own phsyie. I came to the conclusion that the Trazadone was some how affecting some chemicals in my brain to cause me to be "depressed" yet it was a depression unlike I've ever felt before, none of the same symptoms yet strong enough to knock me from my guard. So I flushed the pills and slowly things I feel are starting to come back around, time will only tell. As I still feel a bit under the weather, both physically and mentally...
oh how I dream of my private get away, my garden of tranquility..... One day, one day.