The Mask Made of Glass

The Mask Made of Glass (The Joker's Romance)
By: Matthew Wayne
Blogger: http://damienhaze.blogspot.com

“I dig in deeper, as the stakes get bigger
the blood soaked stain, smile you hit a vein”


It's a shoot gun romance, The passion building within the endless dance. The tidal wave of mental euphoria, and I am the crazy one? The point of the matter is I am an adult and as such must take responsibility for my own actions, my own choices, and my own beliefs. I had conned myself into believing for once the Universe had granted me my one dream in life, a complexity of emotions and goals, desires and hopes. Had I earned this treasure trove of wealth? Most likely no, but do I deserve such paradise in my life? Most likely no. I have sinned like every other mortal man walking this earth, I recognize my demons and face them head on, strong willed I will climb to my feet. Face bloody and bruised ready for their next best shot at me. I am stubborn, hard headed, and damn it I will speak my mind. No matter how controversial the topic may be I will say what I have to say. We tip toe around other's feelings for the sake of not causing them mental anguish. Through the sting of an insult the truth is always far better than a lie. Which only serve to hold us back from growing spiritually and emotionally.

“If this were to only be a dream, than I shall chose
to forever remain asleep. For in this dream there is no pain there is no sorrow,
for in this dream there is only that of bliss, and perfect tomorrow”
August 13, 2009 (my Journal)

A lot of things are for the most part best left unsaid, this being one of the cases. However I will add a simple statement on a certain subject. A man could live his entire life without finding a woman to spend his time with and be completely content, happy even, but when you find that one you can connect to on all levels of the aspect in question. You not only find a living dream but one could only describe as soul mate, and I do not use that term light, for to me in my opinion, soul mate has no religious ties, a connection with another person physically and mentally changes the equation. Procreation is one of our more primal natural instincts we possess. Yet we have adapted and evolved with such powerful and influential emotions, lust, desire, love, hate, rage. To make us mortal we give into these urges and feelings, not to say they are all bad. But to allow them to over power your sense of logic, rationality. That is the weakness of our mortality, yet like yin and yang they can empower us to great feats. Physically and mentally.

“To the river bed, to wash your hands that are stained red.
To the mouth of hell, where your soul is for sale.
Witness to the rider upon the horse thats pale.
Fall to your knees and cower and fear, where chaos becomes all you hear
your apocalypse has arrived, casting shame to your egotistical price.”

The Joker's game, riddle me this. What goes on in the minds of someone who uses another? What advantages do they have to gain by playing on another's emotions? If you were thinking to make themselves feel better, the chances is you are right. Yet without their side of the story thats a question will will only go to their graves. The word love is tossed around without so much as a care in the world, It truly has lost any meaning behind the value of that once sacred word. Its weight in currency is being used to barter for sex, or material possessions. Rolling from the emotionless tongue of the speaker. There was once a day when someone spoke that word, it truly meant something. Where a marriage lasted longer than the honeymoon, and a devotion to see their spouse smile every chance they got. That spark of passion dies down, or becomes lost. Bitterness and resentment settles in slowly eating away at the relationship from the inside. The little things that first attracted the two together soon becomes the little annoyances that pushes you farther apart. Boredom plays a big role in the advancement of this disease as well. Romance is then treated as a Conquest.

It is hard at times to believe there is anyone out there, that could fit so well with even those who do not fit in with themselves. Your flaws turn to their adornments. Yet still have that desire every morning to keep that spark in their eyes from ever dieing down, the romance burning deep for the two knowing deep in the back of your mind without so much as a shadow of a doubt that, that person next to you is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. A rare find in the society of today, Stars in the heavens explode more times than people find this type of connection with another. Lust is often the joker's wild card during this experience.