A Girl named Hali Rebecca

I don't even know where to start,

A few days ago out of the blue, this girl added me to her myspace page, it turned out she lived in Lindale not very far from me. in fact I frequent that town on many occasions, She was a Nurse that worked in the Emergency room at Tyler. For the short amount of time we had together, we talked, we laughed and we shared in personal stories of our lives, even our dreams for the future. Oddly enough if it wasnt our future dreams and goals that helped us click so well together it could have just as easily been our passion for knowleage and science and religious philosophies. I remember her telling me one night how amazed and surprised she was with how well my ideals for science had fit so well with religion.

We had made plans to visit yesterday and hang out for the first time, but her family had came down, but later that day we had been talking some more and She told me if she could get away for a bit she would come out and see me.

Please forgive me but this part gets hard for me to write, later that night after work I got home and like always turned my computer on. a few minutes into surfing an she pops on line in the myspace IM, though it turned out to be her little sister not her, She then goes on to explain to me what felt like a waking nightmare.

Hali had left her house pulling her sister to the side to tell her she was going to come get me and bring me back there so I could meet her and the family, she took her motorcycle because we were jokingly about that earlier and she wanted me to take a ride on it. From what the Sister has told me, she crashed her bike pretty bad and was life flighted to Huston, where a nurse who was friends with her called her sister (since her parents had already left to drive to the hosbital) that Hali's heart had gave out, and she passed away.

I understand it is not my fault, I also know that I could have had no idea or told her to not do it since she was going to surprise me as it were, since it all was in humor when we were talking about her sneaking away from her family. Being human I am prone to human thoughts and feelings, and one of them is guilt. I do feel guilt because I put her in harms way.

There is a small voice, slowly ticking in the back of my brain. it keeps repeating roger's mantra "god thats great, please show me the blessing in this" But I see no silver lining in the distance from the outcome of this, I know I have to live the rest of my life being the one responsible for another soul returning into the void.

Sorry.

Rest in Peace, Hali Rebecca.

Lost Treasure's Collection - Now Available

"There is something within me holding me back
The wolves always on the prowl, ready for the attack
as I no longer recognize the face in the mirror staring me back"

Lost Treasure's Collection
by: Matthew Wayne
A collection of old Poetry and literature

https://www.createspace.com/3390099
Visit my E-store and buy a copy now
for only $12.50


"I can tell your hanging on by a single thread
The voices screaming inside your head
pulling at your hair, wishing you were dead
medicate your brain, trying to stay sane
all while you hold onto too much pain."

"The Day of Mourning"
(Lost Treasure's Collection)

Time slowly creeps on by
before you know it, it's your time to die
trading your soul for just more time
even sober I can't walk their straight line
while presidents commit political crimes

My voice heard by the tip of this pen
remembering what it was like back then
I can still feel the pain, scars burned in my brain
and the thought of going insane
can you reach your dreams?, or touch your god?
a ghostly visage, a desert mirage
offspring of knowledge
sons and daughters of the white coat sage
no more lies, no more killing
a utopia for the filling
thousands of followers, devout believers
sheep to the herd of deceivers.

A slave to the market
A broken government, that fails to commit
A wasted life, filled with regret

Pick away your flesh until you reach bone
while you pray your sins will atone
for when you die, you are alone
A devil in disguise, claiming your soul as the prize
No where left to run,
No escape for the sins you've done

The Sun is setting, your thoughts regressing
all while your body decays, screaming gods name
suffering from a lifetime of pain

There was once a garden full of flowers
and romance that lasted for hours
just a fading memory now, that will live forever
in my mind as if hidden treasure
and an even more sinful pleasure
burn your resolution, searching for absolution
killing your ambition, all in the name of your addiction
for when you have nothing left,
you will pray for death.

...........
As I am sure you are all aware, I'm not very good at self promotion haha. However I am very excited to offer you all the chance to own a copy of my hard work. The poetry and literature comprised in this collection are old, some dating back more then Ten plus years. A lot of them had to be pieced together just for them to be coherently readable. I know I also said it was only $12 but I decided to put an extra .50c to cover the "Taxes" yes big brother has to get their greedy hands into everything, but even still at 12.50 I feel is a good buy for a great read.

Since I had just approved of its release, it still has yet to make its way over to Amazon.com but once it does I'll send over the link as Im sure more people have amazon accounts then createspace. Just remember I am not making much money off this title, infact one wouldnt even count it as "profitable" I am mainly releaseing this more so for myself then the public as this is my first publication, I am also dedicating this book to a dear friend of mine and mentor. She passed away not to long ago, lived a full and rich life and was also one of the few who encouraged me to persue my passion for writing and I felt no better way then to thank her by dedicating this title to her. Jaent Bridges, you will be missed..

Also since this is my first publication its a big deal, and have offered a few of my close friends autographed copies of my book, however if you are interested in a autographed copy of the book simply email me waynecanning@hotmail.com or leave a message here, with a way I can get in touch with you. Since it will still cost me, the price will still be there unfortuniately, If only I was made of money I'd give them out for free haha.
So to all my readers, I hope you enjoy this title.

Sug's Zombie Giveaway!!!

ZOMBIE GIVEAWAY TIME!!!(first giveaway ever!)

Created by Sugar's Dream and RL at 10:14 AM

So by the show of hands, how many of you all are ready for my Zombie-made goodies giveaway?!



Okay then, I am not afraid of you!

Whats up for grabs is my polymer made items, a cupcake phone charm, a zombie heart with scars to prove your worth in this "oh so" cruel world, and finally a zombie flesh pendant to wear around your neck to deter those pesky creature away. I am sure if you smell like them they will not come near you out of confusion. lol.







Now onto how to win these fabulous items. Very simple I think that is lol.

First of all You must be following my blog, let your followers know on your blog what is going on here cause all you need to do is this, tell me if you were to have your own movie/story about zombies what would your basic scenario be for it, keep it short(up to 8 sentences if you can but no more than 12) Please leave your email address as well so I have a way to get a hold of you.

I am just curious how faithful to the zombie genre the future winner will be for winning these bad boys. I surely don't want to give these up to someone that will not have the appreciation for the theme.


Last day to sign up will be July 25th at 11pm central time. I will Choose the winner the 27th and the winner has 3 days to claim or I will choose another who will have 24 hours to respond. I will have mail out your prize by August 3rd.

HAVE FUN ZOMBIE LOVERS!!!

(To Go to Sug's Blog go here http://sugarcoated-chaos.blogspot.com/ )

Lost Treasure's Delay

Pretty huh? :) Well that is the cover for my very first official publication, however after reviewing the book I noticed a few minor errors here and there so I will take the next few days to re-edit the interior files so that they are fixed. So I hate to say this but Lost Treasure's Collection's official release will be postponed for about a week or two. Fret not for it will be released, and once it is its off to the woodshed to start on my second publication. Which will most likely be my Fictional/Fantasy Book "Legacy of Sky"

Something on the horizon

I have been a bit elusive lately, avoiding anything that would cause my mind to "think" been feeling a bit crowded up there. Okay so here is the deal, I'm going through a slow process of updating my Myspace Page. I also must admit my anticipation to see the proof copy of my book has me a bit wound up, I must not get my hopes up for my goal here was not to turn a profit, but to know the world has the option to read what I have to offer. I have also been dabbling back into writing, as many of you are aware I took sort of a little hiatus from writing apart from that one hit "Running little man" lyric/poem I wrote. I am almost starting to look forward to working on my next book.
I also been thinking on what to do with my fictional/fantasy book "The Legacy of Sky" whether or not I should compile all three saga's into one big novel, or try them separately, however since this is not a pressing issue I'll slide it over to the back burner for now.

"There is something brewing on the horizon, through the smog and thick haze
I can smell the war in the air, lest these be our last days"

I would also like to dedicate another spot to Tom Morello, The Nightwatchman on his song "Whatever it takes"

My First Published Book

Yay, go me right? that is usually the theme when someone gets their work published. I am ecstatic that I have a book being published but not so much for it to get sold or to make any money off of it. (though without being said would be nice) No for me its the idea of being recognized for my sweat and tears the many sleepless nights and fits of depression. Currently I am waiting on the proof copy to come to me in the mail, Once I receive it I get the option to proof read it, so that would mean sorting through the hiddious spelling and grammar errors, though my spelling has gotten stronger I am still man enough to admit my grammar sucks haha.

The Nightwatchman - Fabled Ctiy

Update

Its sad really, a deep secret I keep from people. Nobody knows, not my mother for father or even my closest friend. It's not a shameful secret when you think about it, dig down into the roof of the problem. Let me first start from the beginning as I knew few who will read this may or not completely understand.

For as long as I can remember I've been suffering from Insomnia, doctors have told me time after time that its considered by their "books" Chronic Insomnia, I could be dead ass tired, but once I lay my head down to try and go to sleep, my mind starts to race, thoughts and ideas swarm me. Over the years it was beginning to get harder and harder for me to fall asleep, until I realized one night, being drunk. Plastered and ten sheets to the wind that when I closed my eyes I was out cold. Some of the best sleep I'd ever gotten, I don't dare tell my doctors, nor do I share this with my friends. For I know what goes on in people's heads, what would you first think if someone mentioned to you "That the only way sounds sleep ever visits my bed, is when I am passed out from another chemical", Drugs, Booze. or even over the counter sleeping pills, Yet the nasty groggy side effects from them leave me without wanting.

First reaction out of your mind would be "he just wants to score, get fucked up, Theres nothing wrong "traumatic" with him hes just a junkie"

The longest I've ever stayed up was about a week with a few power naps here or there, it was getting to the point I was starting to see things, hallucinate. people I thought I knew but was not even there. I hate it, like a black fog it rolls over my mind shuts down the neurons and am unable to think straight.

-------------------------

Also my book got published :D So I am waiting on the proof copy to come in the mail, to check it out make sure the final cut and everything is good :) I'll post another update when I get it and even post pictures :D yay I am excited about that.