Update

Its sad really, a deep secret I keep from people. Nobody knows, not my mother for father or even my closest friend. It's not a shameful secret when you think about it, dig down into the roof of the problem. Let me first start from the beginning as I knew few who will read this may or not completely understand.

For as long as I can remember I've been suffering from Insomnia, doctors have told me time after time that its considered by their "books" Chronic Insomnia, I could be dead ass tired, but once I lay my head down to try and go to sleep, my mind starts to race, thoughts and ideas swarm me. Over the years it was beginning to get harder and harder for me to fall asleep, until I realized one night, being drunk. Plastered and ten sheets to the wind that when I closed my eyes I was out cold. Some of the best sleep I'd ever gotten, I don't dare tell my doctors, nor do I share this with my friends. For I know what goes on in people's heads, what would you first think if someone mentioned to you "That the only way sounds sleep ever visits my bed, is when I am passed out from another chemical", Drugs, Booze. or even over the counter sleeping pills, Yet the nasty groggy side effects from them leave me without wanting.

First reaction out of your mind would be "he just wants to score, get fucked up, Theres nothing wrong "traumatic" with him hes just a junkie"

The longest I've ever stayed up was about a week with a few power naps here or there, it was getting to the point I was starting to see things, hallucinate. people I thought I knew but was not even there. I hate it, like a black fog it rolls over my mind shuts down the neurons and am unable to think straight.

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Also my book got published :D So I am waiting on the proof copy to come in the mail, to check it out make sure the final cut and everything is good :) I'll post another update when I get it and even post pictures :D yay I am excited about that.