The Art of War
by: Matthew Wayne
It is the art of war,
forgotten is what this fight is for
pale faces and decaying bodies
death and a bitter taste of disease
a lost soldier, a voice of a lost soul
where a broken man was tortured slow
family slain, an eternity of pain.
The siege marches on, even if murder is wrong
It has become the art of war, A blood feud began decades before.
The bombs dropping, the violence never stopping
blood stains the hands of those who sin,
a religious icon in which to pray, hoping to win.
Slaves are those who chose to submit,
who does not stand when told to sit
blindly following, who dares not to question
in a society where ignorance is an odd obsession
denials and lies, with deception morality dies.
Yin and Yang, with another big bang
good and bad, within us all and under our command
when conflict knocks at the door,
there will always be the cruelty of war.
Just An Update
Since I am still stuck to using my old laptop (my harddrive failed on my desktop) my writing and updating has been a bit slowed. However the time it's given me to think on my future endevours has given me plenty of ideas. First I have been working on secureing a webpage, one place where my readers can go to get updates, blogposts. Everything and everything I would write about. Will also have links set up to where they can purchase my books.
I have finally decided the direction inwhich I want to go in with my Fantasy book "The Legacy of Sky". It will be my first fictional published book, and those who order a copy of it and have read the chapters online will first notice a difference in the context and the flow. I have decided to leave the digital/online version the way it is, however the paper bound version will be re-edited as well as things added to it. The first major change of course will be the title, the digital/online version is known as "The Legacy of Sky : The Fallen Angel Saga" while the paper bound version will be titled "Legacy of Sky : The Two Brothers"
Since I have been working on two books at the same time I've decided not to rush myself and push back the release date to at least the end of the year for the Fantasy book, and around the first of the year for my anthology.
On an ending note, I want to wish everyone happy holidays and to be safe out there.
I have finally decided the direction inwhich I want to go in with my Fantasy book "The Legacy of Sky". It will be my first fictional published book, and those who order a copy of it and have read the chapters online will first notice a difference in the context and the flow. I have decided to leave the digital/online version the way it is, however the paper bound version will be re-edited as well as things added to it. The first major change of course will be the title, the digital/online version is known as "The Legacy of Sky : The Fallen Angel Saga" while the paper bound version will be titled "Legacy of Sky : The Two Brothers"
Since I have been working on two books at the same time I've decided not to rush myself and push back the release date to at least the end of the year for the Fantasy book, and around the first of the year for my anthology.
On an ending note, I want to wish everyone happy holidays and to be safe out there.
A Free Man
A Free Man
By: Matthew Wayne
Distrust truly floats atop a sea of snakes, everyone so locked in to themselves and what 'they' can obtain, their reality model, their universe. Observing a situation as if an outsider from the equation. Strip away the core, and you will see we are all part of the problem, part of the cause, and yet at the same time we are all part of very solution that can and will fix that problem. Everything and anything can be solved by looking within, rather then without. Metaphorically speaking we a creatures of habit, our brains get locked within a routine of mundane tasks. How often do you sit and observe without judgment? Without motive or emotion?
Its hard to get past the ego within ourselves. A wall of insecurities and insults, built for defense against even the strongest battering ram, as each stone is thrown to that wall it becomes stronger, after awhile you begin to believe that wall, that ego is who you are. A mask worn to hide the true ugliness of our sins, our thoughts. Even the most divine sins within their minds, thoughts not your own but thoughts you obtain none the less.
We allow ourselves to drink in the champaign of ignorance, yet turn a blind eye to the injustice of even the most corrupted. Hypocrisy has became the law of the land while wolves in sheep skin heard the flocks of even the most devout. Words become hallow and meaningless if spoken with no value behind them, actions are at the root of what makes the hero.
As if I have woken into a nightmare, from a free man to a slave in a monetary mirage. Ink on paper to claim my soul for which I never bargained for. My children should I decide to bring another life into this small planet and ever chaotic universe would be born into this culture of slavery, by the debt of others. Where I ask is the freedom in that? The sheep and the asleep, do not understand how dire and destructive that is, for as a writer I truly fear for my freedom of speech, my right to what I have to say, to write. There will always be those who strive to censor what they fear, or what they hate. A bigot in their beliefs should be law, and not choice. We see this everyday and yet still the masses turn a blind eye, for it their universe has not been affected by the hypocrisy, or if it has barley makes a dent against their wall, their mask.
I am a living testament, a divine creature, a human being. I breath and have a conscious, and I am self aware. With these I declare my sovereignty over any state who would try and suppress me, who would try and chain me back and keep me from reaching my full potential as a living breathing entity on this planet, and beyond. To breach this would be a deceleration of war for my very survival becomes the wager, I will bow before no king, I will bow before no queen and I will refuse to shake the hand of anyone who conspires against me. I am my own lord, my kingdom spanning from within to the vast unknown of the universe. I trade with all and willing, but never sign a document of allegiance, far to easy to get caught within a web of politics unnecessary for the betterment of oneself.
The last breath I take will be with the knowledge I died free, helplessly watching men and women around me being chained to their system, their own beliefs attacking them from behind hopeless to stop it. Sacrificing their choices and their freedom, for a security blanket of mistrust. Huddled In the darkest corner of the room praying their number does not draw up next. I have often silently asked myself how society would go out, if they had the choice to stand up against the corruption, the violence, would they stand before the firing squad and grin knowing they die for an idea rather than a cause? For do not mistake one second that freedom is a choice, it is a reason, a means to an end, priceless and unique.
For in this existence. This life, a self aware conscious being can only live in freedom, to be caged like an animal is humiliation and degradation on the highest levels of morality, and a sin against humanity.
By: Matthew Wayne
Distrust truly floats atop a sea of snakes, everyone so locked in to themselves and what 'they' can obtain, their reality model, their universe. Observing a situation as if an outsider from the equation. Strip away the core, and you will see we are all part of the problem, part of the cause, and yet at the same time we are all part of very solution that can and will fix that problem. Everything and anything can be solved by looking within, rather then without. Metaphorically speaking we a creatures of habit, our brains get locked within a routine of mundane tasks. How often do you sit and observe without judgment? Without motive or emotion?
Its hard to get past the ego within ourselves. A wall of insecurities and insults, built for defense against even the strongest battering ram, as each stone is thrown to that wall it becomes stronger, after awhile you begin to believe that wall, that ego is who you are. A mask worn to hide the true ugliness of our sins, our thoughts. Even the most divine sins within their minds, thoughts not your own but thoughts you obtain none the less.
We allow ourselves to drink in the champaign of ignorance, yet turn a blind eye to the injustice of even the most corrupted. Hypocrisy has became the law of the land while wolves in sheep skin heard the flocks of even the most devout. Words become hallow and meaningless if spoken with no value behind them, actions are at the root of what makes the hero.
As if I have woken into a nightmare, from a free man to a slave in a monetary mirage. Ink on paper to claim my soul for which I never bargained for. My children should I decide to bring another life into this small planet and ever chaotic universe would be born into this culture of slavery, by the debt of others. Where I ask is the freedom in that? The sheep and the asleep, do not understand how dire and destructive that is, for as a writer I truly fear for my freedom of speech, my right to what I have to say, to write. There will always be those who strive to censor what they fear, or what they hate. A bigot in their beliefs should be law, and not choice. We see this everyday and yet still the masses turn a blind eye, for it their universe has not been affected by the hypocrisy, or if it has barley makes a dent against their wall, their mask.
I am a living testament, a divine creature, a human being. I breath and have a conscious, and I am self aware. With these I declare my sovereignty over any state who would try and suppress me, who would try and chain me back and keep me from reaching my full potential as a living breathing entity on this planet, and beyond. To breach this would be a deceleration of war for my very survival becomes the wager, I will bow before no king, I will bow before no queen and I will refuse to shake the hand of anyone who conspires against me. I am my own lord, my kingdom spanning from within to the vast unknown of the universe. I trade with all and willing, but never sign a document of allegiance, far to easy to get caught within a web of politics unnecessary for the betterment of oneself.
The last breath I take will be with the knowledge I died free, helplessly watching men and women around me being chained to their system, their own beliefs attacking them from behind hopeless to stop it. Sacrificing their choices and their freedom, for a security blanket of mistrust. Huddled In the darkest corner of the room praying their number does not draw up next. I have often silently asked myself how society would go out, if they had the choice to stand up against the corruption, the violence, would they stand before the firing squad and grin knowing they die for an idea rather than a cause? For do not mistake one second that freedom is a choice, it is a reason, a means to an end, priceless and unique.
For in this existence. This life, a self aware conscious being can only live in freedom, to be caged like an animal is humiliation and degradation on the highest levels of morality, and a sin against humanity.
Current Events
This blogpost is more of a rant, than a tangent or sonnet. While I take a small break from working on my book, and still on vacation from writing any new sonnets I've decided to focus my more creative writing into a more dire and seriouse nature, Thats right Current Events of what is currently affecting us at the moment, my views and my thoughts on all of the recent topics that spring to mind. Health care, H1N1 Virus, and of course the ever disasterious war taking place in the middle east. However before I get into my views and such opinions I must warn you I may not be up-todate on all the recent press releases to some of the things I will be talking about, however most of it being my opinions the only thing I need to cross and check are the facts of the situtuation.
But that will be a post at a later date, when I am not jet-lagging from some good medication, to try and tame my insomnia. I will keep you all posted on the progress of my book, for those few readers who are interested, I am also looking to expand my reader audiance, so please pass the word around!, as of right now I am resided to trying to survive off what little profit I make from my publications. considering I only have one book published, with the release of my second and hopefully a third not to long after that, I will be able to breath a sigh of relief.
I am still also looking for any Artists willing to contribute some artwork to the book, if your interested in this you can get in touch with me by emailing me at waynecanning@hotmail.com with a subject like "Book Artwork" or something similar to that. Full credit will be given to all those who submit and get approved for publishing.
I am also considering holding a small contest (if enough particapates enters) that the best winning cover design will recieve a free autographed copy of my new book. And discounts to those willing to pass the word along and bring in extra readers.
Just an update,
The Dead Poet.
A Broken Man
A Broken Man
By: Matthew Wayne
Holding out a broken heart, from a broken man
beaten to the ground, crawling they took everything he had
Tears stream down her porcelain face,
baring a broken wing, how quickly she fell from grace.
The stars shine down upon us all,
each and everyone of us will eventually fall
It's about how you live, not in what you believe
It's about how you feel, and not the Illusion you perceive.
For if in winter and a flower will grow,
that in your darkest hour a light can be shown.
Standing before the cliff, as the tides begin to shift
A broken man will stare into his own personal abyss
a purgatory, living testimony to his own horror story
reflections in a mirror, become witness to his own fear
There is an Angel that waits, as she does her heart breaks
slowly she slips back into his dreams
A treasure, this broken man will always remember
~~( )~ Addendum ~( )~~
“I saw an Angel today, she whispered in my ears telling me to pray
not to god, or to speak in tongues, but to take a breath and fill my lungs”
Confused within a den of thieves,
When thoughts affect the reality we perceive
we allow others into our mind, their trickery to deceive.
Distrust floats upon a sea of snakes
serpents biting, all trying to get their take.
“When a rose in winter, has never been as beautiful
In the dead of night with a full bloom, under the watchful eye of the moon
A rare chance, a once in a lifetime glance”
Caught within a web of lies, the illustrious grand prize
I've lost more to my emotions, than any other preconceived notions
When I can still hear your voice in my ears, I still see the shadows of my fears.
A rational mind succumbed, to the whispers that my nerves have been numbed
Once thought to be lead by logic, now bound to the chaos of the current topic
So much pain and suffering has crossed my path, and when I look back I see the hills of my past
“paranoid disillusions, hold contempt for mass confusion
trapped within a struggle of a deadly obsession,
confide within the devil of a morbid conversation.”
By: Matthew Wayne
Holding out a broken heart, from a broken man
beaten to the ground, crawling they took everything he had
Tears stream down her porcelain face,
baring a broken wing, how quickly she fell from grace.
The stars shine down upon us all,
each and everyone of us will eventually fall
It's about how you live, not in what you believe
It's about how you feel, and not the Illusion you perceive.
For if in winter and a flower will grow,
that in your darkest hour a light can be shown.
Standing before the cliff, as the tides begin to shift
A broken man will stare into his own personal abyss
a purgatory, living testimony to his own horror story
reflections in a mirror, become witness to his own fear
There is an Angel that waits, as she does her heart breaks
slowly she slips back into his dreams
A treasure, this broken man will always remember
~~( )~ Addendum ~( )~~
“I saw an Angel today, she whispered in my ears telling me to pray
not to god, or to speak in tongues, but to take a breath and fill my lungs”
Confused within a den of thieves,
When thoughts affect the reality we perceive
we allow others into our mind, their trickery to deceive.
Distrust floats upon a sea of snakes
serpents biting, all trying to get their take.
“When a rose in winter, has never been as beautiful
In the dead of night with a full bloom, under the watchful eye of the moon
A rare chance, a once in a lifetime glance”
Caught within a web of lies, the illustrious grand prize
I've lost more to my emotions, than any other preconceived notions
When I can still hear your voice in my ears, I still see the shadows of my fears.
A rational mind succumbed, to the whispers that my nerves have been numbed
Once thought to be lead by logic, now bound to the chaos of the current topic
So much pain and suffering has crossed my path, and when I look back I see the hills of my past
“paranoid disillusions, hold contempt for mass confusion
trapped within a struggle of a deadly obsession,
confide within the devil of a morbid conversation.”
The Mask Made of Glass 'Part 2'
The Mask Made of Glass (An Angel's Decent)
By: Matthew Wayne
Oh hell, I thought to myself. On more than one occasion I sat pondering all the aspects of what was told to me hours or days before. A future I thought I could only reach in my dreams, but here I was being feed the very desires I sought so desperately. Simple wants, yet complexity in their nature to obtain. Most spend their lives chasing their dreams and often die before realizing them. Some give up before they are manifested real. The Universe is complex, It's pattern chaotic yet accurate. I have often questioned if I had fell in love with the idea of my angel, or was it truly a miracle I had found someone who fit me. Of course writing this now, in hindsight I should have known better. Yet blinded by the idea and the passion alone caused me to abandon all rationality towards the whole of the situation. I wanted to believe for one second that I had stumbled across my paradise, like a child lost in a hedge maze, finding the locked door that fits the key in their hand. Shambhala, My mythical utopia.
“Looking up from the depths of hell, I witnessed an Angel who fell
yet even with broken wings, through her lovely voice she still sings
Taking my hand she whispered in my ear, of a paradise oh so near.”
Here I truly thought an Angel landed before me, whispers of far off places and fine satin sheets, liquid gold to the ears of the helpless. Passion engulfed my eyes, and before long I was lost in the fantasy that was my own undoing. So bad I wanted to believe it was real, and so I told myself it was. Played the game and by the house rules. My three kings were no match for slick eye's of the royal flush. So as I sat and watched them wrack up the winnings with a grin on their face and a nod from the pit dog, I cocked my head and shoot a sly smirk. That would be my que to leave.
Its all a game, a ride, Chance. The fate we make by the footsteps we take this moment, and its all a risk, from the very large to the very small. Was I wrong to play my hand? Took the ride? If what I knew then what I know now, would I have still went all in? I can tell you from personal opinion, that even if I were to have held back some chips, the ride would not have been as intense as it was. The faster your heart beats, the quicker the blood rushes. All chemicals, all endorphins. All rushing through you like a tidal wave.
“So many sacrifices made, in this quest for love,
from the pits of hell, I have watched an angel fly above”
So, the main question I could ask myself here and now is, is it still possible and even practical to call her an Angel. On one hand what she had done to me there is no excuse for. Then on the other I cannot deny how I felt about her. So I will answer that question with a surprising yes, for a morbid sense of the reason I did and still do consider this succubus an Angel, If I never see her again I am sure there is another angel flying out there somewhere, over head. Just have to keep your head held high. Will I always love her? Again I will have to say a surprising yes to, I have been told on many occasions that I am a rather stranger person, but that is simply their mind's way of rationalizing me in my complexity.
So where ever my Angel has flown to, I wish her well in her journey and hope she gets to her destination. As for me I still have my eyes set to the horizon, and I see some good things coming my way, It will be a rocky path, but the adventure will be that much more interesting.
“And now I dance, A struggle for another chance
where salvation shall never be within my grasp
fighting a losing war, As my soul shall be claimed last”
(My Journal) - August 7,2009
The Mask Made of Glass
The Mask Made of Glass (The Joker's Romance)
By: Matthew Wayne
Blogger: http://damienhaze.blogspot.com
“I dig in deeper, as the stakes get bigger
the blood soaked stain, smile you hit a vein”
It's a shoot gun romance, The passion building within the endless dance. The tidal wave of mental euphoria, and I am the crazy one? The point of the matter is I am an adult and as such must take responsibility for my own actions, my own choices, and my own beliefs. I had conned myself into believing for once the Universe had granted me my one dream in life, a complexity of emotions and goals, desires and hopes. Had I earned this treasure trove of wealth? Most likely no, but do I deserve such paradise in my life? Most likely no. I have sinned like every other mortal man walking this earth, I recognize my demons and face them head on, strong willed I will climb to my feet. Face bloody and bruised ready for their next best shot at me. I am stubborn, hard headed, and damn it I will speak my mind. No matter how controversial the topic may be I will say what I have to say. We tip toe around other's feelings for the sake of not causing them mental anguish. Through the sting of an insult the truth is always far better than a lie. Which only serve to hold us back from growing spiritually and emotionally.
“If this were to only be a dream, than I shall chose
to forever remain asleep. For in this dream there is no pain there is no sorrow,
for in this dream there is only that of bliss, and perfect tomorrow”
August 13, 2009 (my Journal)
A lot of things are for the most part best left unsaid, this being one of the cases. However I will add a simple statement on a certain subject. A man could live his entire life without finding a woman to spend his time with and be completely content, happy even, but when you find that one you can connect to on all levels of the aspect in question. You not only find a living dream but one could only describe as soul mate, and I do not use that term light, for to me in my opinion, soul mate has no religious ties, a connection with another person physically and mentally changes the equation. Procreation is one of our more primal natural instincts we possess. Yet we have adapted and evolved with such powerful and influential emotions, lust, desire, love, hate, rage. To make us mortal we give into these urges and feelings, not to say they are all bad. But to allow them to over power your sense of logic, rationality. That is the weakness of our mortality, yet like yin and yang they can empower us to great feats. Physically and mentally.
“To the river bed, to wash your hands that are stained red.
To the mouth of hell, where your soul is for sale.
Witness to the rider upon the horse thats pale.
Fall to your knees and cower and fear, where chaos becomes all you hear
your apocalypse has arrived, casting shame to your egotistical price.”
The Joker's game, riddle me this. What goes on in the minds of someone who uses another? What advantages do they have to gain by playing on another's emotions? If you were thinking to make themselves feel better, the chances is you are right. Yet without their side of the story thats a question will will only go to their graves. The word love is tossed around without so much as a care in the world, It truly has lost any meaning behind the value of that once sacred word. Its weight in currency is being used to barter for sex, or material possessions. Rolling from the emotionless tongue of the speaker. There was once a day when someone spoke that word, it truly meant something. Where a marriage lasted longer than the honeymoon, and a devotion to see their spouse smile every chance they got. That spark of passion dies down, or becomes lost. Bitterness and resentment settles in slowly eating away at the relationship from the inside. The little things that first attracted the two together soon becomes the little annoyances that pushes you farther apart. Boredom plays a big role in the advancement of this disease as well. Romance is then treated as a Conquest.
It is hard at times to believe there is anyone out there, that could fit so well with even those who do not fit in with themselves. Your flaws turn to their adornments. Yet still have that desire every morning to keep that spark in their eyes from ever dieing down, the romance burning deep for the two knowing deep in the back of your mind without so much as a shadow of a doubt that, that person next to you is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. A rare find in the society of today, Stars in the heavens explode more times than people find this type of connection with another. Lust is often the joker's wild card during this experience.
By: Matthew Wayne
Blogger: http://damienhaze.blogspot.com
“I dig in deeper, as the stakes get bigger
the blood soaked stain, smile you hit a vein”
It's a shoot gun romance, The passion building within the endless dance. The tidal wave of mental euphoria, and I am the crazy one? The point of the matter is I am an adult and as such must take responsibility for my own actions, my own choices, and my own beliefs. I had conned myself into believing for once the Universe had granted me my one dream in life, a complexity of emotions and goals, desires and hopes. Had I earned this treasure trove of wealth? Most likely no, but do I deserve such paradise in my life? Most likely no. I have sinned like every other mortal man walking this earth, I recognize my demons and face them head on, strong willed I will climb to my feet. Face bloody and bruised ready for their next best shot at me. I am stubborn, hard headed, and damn it I will speak my mind. No matter how controversial the topic may be I will say what I have to say. We tip toe around other's feelings for the sake of not causing them mental anguish. Through the sting of an insult the truth is always far better than a lie. Which only serve to hold us back from growing spiritually and emotionally.
“If this were to only be a dream, than I shall chose
to forever remain asleep. For in this dream there is no pain there is no sorrow,
for in this dream there is only that of bliss, and perfect tomorrow”
August 13, 2009 (my Journal)
A lot of things are for the most part best left unsaid, this being one of the cases. However I will add a simple statement on a certain subject. A man could live his entire life without finding a woman to spend his time with and be completely content, happy even, but when you find that one you can connect to on all levels of the aspect in question. You not only find a living dream but one could only describe as soul mate, and I do not use that term light, for to me in my opinion, soul mate has no religious ties, a connection with another person physically and mentally changes the equation. Procreation is one of our more primal natural instincts we possess. Yet we have adapted and evolved with such powerful and influential emotions, lust, desire, love, hate, rage. To make us mortal we give into these urges and feelings, not to say they are all bad. But to allow them to over power your sense of logic, rationality. That is the weakness of our mortality, yet like yin and yang they can empower us to great feats. Physically and mentally.
“To the river bed, to wash your hands that are stained red.
To the mouth of hell, where your soul is for sale.
Witness to the rider upon the horse thats pale.
Fall to your knees and cower and fear, where chaos becomes all you hear
your apocalypse has arrived, casting shame to your egotistical price.”
The Joker's game, riddle me this. What goes on in the minds of someone who uses another? What advantages do they have to gain by playing on another's emotions? If you were thinking to make themselves feel better, the chances is you are right. Yet without their side of the story thats a question will will only go to their graves. The word love is tossed around without so much as a care in the world, It truly has lost any meaning behind the value of that once sacred word. Its weight in currency is being used to barter for sex, or material possessions. Rolling from the emotionless tongue of the speaker. There was once a day when someone spoke that word, it truly meant something. Where a marriage lasted longer than the honeymoon, and a devotion to see their spouse smile every chance they got. That spark of passion dies down, or becomes lost. Bitterness and resentment settles in slowly eating away at the relationship from the inside. The little things that first attracted the two together soon becomes the little annoyances that pushes you farther apart. Boredom plays a big role in the advancement of this disease as well. Romance is then treated as a Conquest.
It is hard at times to believe there is anyone out there, that could fit so well with even those who do not fit in with themselves. Your flaws turn to their adornments. Yet still have that desire every morning to keep that spark in their eyes from ever dieing down, the romance burning deep for the two knowing deep in the back of your mind without so much as a shadow of a doubt that, that person next to you is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. A rare find in the society of today, Stars in the heavens explode more times than people find this type of connection with another. Lust is often the joker's wild card during this experience.
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Only $10.00 Order Onlinehttps://www.createspace.com/3390099
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Chest Ten
“A composition of Pain”
“I am tired of waiting for my chance,
my one shoot at a chance for romance
I can still remember what it felt like”
-
“A Tragic Love Song “
'I saw the fields of green
that once manifested in my dream
the gold sparkles casted toward the sea
thrown to the wind on a gentle breeze
I could see the world in your eyes
a heaven meant for the skies
I never thought it could be true
I never imagined it would be you
Take my hand and hear my voice
trust my words and see my choice
for what I write will remain timeless
and my words of love, bound to this
through all the chaos of reality
I look in your eyes and see
a sense of peace you bring me
I'm a fallen Angel, with a broken wing
it's not hard to forget, that you're innocent
My Love is yours
My Love is Yours
Where has all the years gone? Condensed into a single hazy second played out in the theater of my mind. Strange voices wash over my thoughts, Tonight all the memories shall dine at a banquet where there will be no meaning of time.
Our love was damned and forbidden
Coming from a society more fucked than I,
I'll show them all how much I am committed
My love is yours, until the day I die.
I will travel the four corners of the globe,
I will endure the wrath of all nine hells.
Now tormented at the thought of ever being alone,
closing my eyes, I just want to be held.
I thought it was too good to be true,
that it was all just a dream and nothing more.
Until I wake up next to you,
my dreams shall remain just a fabled lore
I have danced with Angels, and I have danced with Devils
Looked into heavens eyes, getting lost within paradise.
Fallen from grace, and paid a high price
left hidden meanings within my sonnets
and watched as the Angels ran with the comets.
Am I your savior? Or are you mine?
With you I lose all track of the time
and with you all my demons cower,
instilling a new sense of power
I am able to stand, even as the ground shakes below
In troubled times, my feet simply just go
I follow my heart, even when my mind does not know where to start
Standing in the rain, my head held high
Even as the world collapses around me
My love is yours, until the day I die
through the thick clouds I can still see
The chase begins as I stalk my muse
As hope begins to sparkle in her eye,
I will never play by anyone's rules, I simply refuse
For my love is yours, until the day I die.
There is a pattern to this chaotic universe, hidden within the spaces we cannot see, hidden from our own mortal flaws, perfection is not found with god, but rather within our own very minds, our consciousness, and anywhere we perceive as reality.
Where has all the years gone? Condensed into a single hazy second played out in the theater of my mind. Strange voices wash over my thoughts, Tonight all the memories shall dine at a banquet where there will be no meaning of time.
Our love was damned and forbidden
Coming from a society more fucked than I,
I'll show them all how much I am committed
My love is yours, until the day I die.
I will travel the four corners of the globe,
I will endure the wrath of all nine hells.
Now tormented at the thought of ever being alone,
closing my eyes, I just want to be held.
I thought it was too good to be true,
that it was all just a dream and nothing more.
Until I wake up next to you,
my dreams shall remain just a fabled lore
I have danced with Angels, and I have danced with Devils
Looked into heavens eyes, getting lost within paradise.
Fallen from grace, and paid a high price
left hidden meanings within my sonnets
and watched as the Angels ran with the comets.
Am I your savior? Or are you mine?
With you I lose all track of the time
and with you all my demons cower,
instilling a new sense of power
I am able to stand, even as the ground shakes below
In troubled times, my feet simply just go
I follow my heart, even when my mind does not know where to start
Standing in the rain, my head held high
Even as the world collapses around me
My love is yours, until the day I die
through the thick clouds I can still see
The chase begins as I stalk my muse
As hope begins to sparkle in her eye,
I will never play by anyone's rules, I simply refuse
For my love is yours, until the day I die.
There is a pattern to this chaotic universe, hidden within the spaces we cannot see, hidden from our own mortal flaws, perfection is not found with god, but rather within our own very minds, our consciousness, and anywhere we perceive as reality.
okay, I was litterally coerced into posting this ahead of time, but the person responsible can pray their lucky stars that through my double vision, they and only they could get away with such a request and still get a smile from me with no bitterness residing within.
okay I might as well give a little update along with this post, Most of my friends and close family are aware of my big step (moving up to LA) temporary. I am pretty stoked about this, Leaving Thursday. Will be moving in with my gf until we can get moved back down here the first of next year, while I am up there I will get me a better laptop, and most likely a desktop for her to use as well, the talented little minx. I plan on diving head first once up there, and start to work on my two new books in publication, and possibly a third! so exciting and fast times are coming up.
My Redemption
By: Matthew Wayne
http://damienhaze.blogspot.com
I have climbed from my hell
picked the lock on my prison cell
I have taken flight, Traversed the stars and space
followed my dreams, followed my heart and gave chase.
Closed my eyes and took that leap of faith
“It all seems so surreal,
a dream for once I can almost feel
I see an Angel, and touch a heaven
I am a mortal man damned to sin
with a glimpse of paradise I give in”
Years of mental stress fade,
there was once a time when I wanted an early grave
once a time when I thought my soul could not be saved
Is this my redemption?
Where the universe is offering me salvation?
I can see a future bright beyond the horizon
the past behind me with the setting of the son
the mental anguish lost and on the run
“An angel who fell to earth in a single glance
put her love unto me by the luck of chance
gave her my heart, in hopes of obtaining redemption
the taste of her lips, sent me into temptation
my wall collapsed, and my will gave in
for I have fallen in love all over again.”
okay I might as well give a little update along with this post, Most of my friends and close family are aware of my big step (moving up to LA) temporary. I am pretty stoked about this, Leaving Thursday. Will be moving in with my gf until we can get moved back down here the first of next year, while I am up there I will get me a better laptop, and most likely a desktop for her to use as well, the talented little minx. I plan on diving head first once up there, and start to work on my two new books in publication, and possibly a third! so exciting and fast times are coming up.
My Redemption
By: Matthew Wayne
http://damienhaze.blogspot.com
I have climbed from my hell
picked the lock on my prison cell
I have taken flight, Traversed the stars and space
followed my dreams, followed my heart and gave chase.
Closed my eyes and took that leap of faith
“It all seems so surreal,
a dream for once I can almost feel
I see an Angel, and touch a heaven
I am a mortal man damned to sin
with a glimpse of paradise I give in”
Years of mental stress fade,
there was once a time when I wanted an early grave
once a time when I thought my soul could not be saved
Is this my redemption?
Where the universe is offering me salvation?
I can see a future bright beyond the horizon
the past behind me with the setting of the son
the mental anguish lost and on the run
“An angel who fell to earth in a single glance
put her love unto me by the luck of chance
gave her my heart, in hopes of obtaining redemption
the taste of her lips, sent me into temptation
my wall collapsed, and my will gave in
for I have fallen in love all over again.”
Much needed Downtime
Okay since the crash of my desktop computer, and the lack of funds to get it fixed at this moment of time. I've decided to take a break from "releaseing" any new Sonnets or Tangents (unless they are just really too good to pass up). Since using my laptop makes me feel like I've stepped back into the stone age, my Online time will be limited to either just surfing or writing. I will probably try and at least tweak my, myspace page and this blog. But if not here is a plug for my book
https://www.createspace.com/3390099
So for the next few months, until I get my computer back up and running I'm 'inclinded' to take a much needed break, a vacation as it were.
Knives Vauldraie - Chapter Four 'Preview'
::Note: This contains Graphics Content, Mature Readers only!!::
(this is probably the darkest piece I've written in awhile)
Chapter Four
Vauldraie's hand slowly traced along the various object laid out on the vanity desk, his hand stopped on a small rectangular box, taking great care he slowly opened it to reveal a silver letter opener, a gift form one of his many servants long time ago. He could hear fewer and fewer screams coming from the courtyard, no doubt those creature's of the night were feasting upon his own family, and friends that he has known most his life. Yet as he slowly slid the letter opener under the sleeve of his shirt, his mind simply shrugged off that thought, as if it were a life time ago. His eyes slowly trailed across the room to where the little girl lay dead, her pale complexion told the horrible truth to what he has now became.
Making his way over towards the large bed he looked down at his now deceased father, yet no emotions or feelings escaped him, He knew she should feel remorse, anger. But none of those emotions were there instead an emptiness. His ears quickly honed towards the sound of boots once again clicking down the hall, It was Lilith. Not even in the same room he felt her presence, some kind of link. He knew she was satisfied with her 'conquest'. It felt as if her mood were being projected into his very thoughts.
As the door slowly opened, Lilith walked in to see Vauldraie laying in the bed where she had left him, this time however his back was propped against the wooden headboard of the bed, in his hands he slowly twirled about his father's crown, as he slowly looked up towards her.
“you are awake” She spoke as she slowly sauntered her way towards the foot of the bed, taking a quick glance towards the corner where the dead little girl lay. “and I see my boy was thirsty as well”
Vauldraie simply tossed the crown to the side as it hit the dresser falling towards the ground as he softly spoke “Not nearly enough to quench this thirst” He watched as Lilith slowly turned her head towards him, and smiled. As she slowly climbed onto the bed, taking great care placing a leg on each side of him. “Lucky you my love, I just had a big meal” She spoke with a grin as she climbed closer, sitting up making sure she felt him grind her waist hard against her in some sexual perversion as she took her finger, the nail slowly grew growing sharp as she gently slid it against the wrist of her left hand. The warm blood quickly became pouring from the open wound as she lowered her hand to the eagerly awaiting mouth of Vauldraie, as he drank her blood, his eye's quickly began turning bloodshot, as he felt the surge of power wash through his vanes. He did not want to stop, for each drop shared with him a bit of her own knowledge, through visions and clues and scrambled thoughts. She finally screamed and pushed Vauldraie hard from her wrist as he fell against the headboard, She let out a gentle moan as if almost the ecstasy of the moment over whelmed her, her breath was shallow and light. Vauldraie simply looked up at her, her blood gently trailing down his lips as his fangs were still visible. “Why” his voice stern and demanding as she slowly looked down at him questioningly but before another second could pass, Vauldraie reached into his sleeve pulling out the letter opener and in an blur his hand sliced the jugular vane of her throat.
Lilith's eye's quickly widened when she realized what has just happened, she tired to scream but no sound came out, and when she tried to move she realized Vauldraie had his hands firmly secured to her hips, as he sat there not even a smile came across his face, as if he were empty and hallow. She watched as her hands moved to her throat trying to prevent as much blood loss as she could, yet they both knew it would do no good as gush after gush splashed against Vauldraie, landing everywhere she would twist and turn. It did not take long before she finally collapsed. Her lifeless body fell gracefully on top of Vauldraie as he just laid there, trying to make sense of the whole situation, what he had just done, what had happened to him. It was the oddest sensation however, her death was not out of vengeance like he had hoped, instead he felt an even darker pleasure arrive from such an action.
Taking his arm he simply rolled her over on the other side of him, now laying between his father and his new born mother, Both now dead, and no remorse or guilt fell over this damned creature. Slowly he got up walking over towards the chair, he reached down picking up the little girl. Gently laying on on the bed with the others. Stopping only long enough to make an apology to the dead child. Turning his attention towards the room he quickly went about gathering several kerosene lanterns, before stopping at the foot of the bed, Turning towards the wooden door's he started to walk towards them, tossing the lanterns onto the bed, the glass breaking as they hit against each other once making contact on the bed, it did not take long before the entire bed and half the ceiling was burning.
(this is probably the darkest piece I've written in awhile)
Chapter Four
Vauldraie's hand slowly traced along the various object laid out on the vanity desk, his hand stopped on a small rectangular box, taking great care he slowly opened it to reveal a silver letter opener, a gift form one of his many servants long time ago. He could hear fewer and fewer screams coming from the courtyard, no doubt those creature's of the night were feasting upon his own family, and friends that he has known most his life. Yet as he slowly slid the letter opener under the sleeve of his shirt, his mind simply shrugged off that thought, as if it were a life time ago. His eyes slowly trailed across the room to where the little girl lay dead, her pale complexion told the horrible truth to what he has now became.
Making his way over towards the large bed he looked down at his now deceased father, yet no emotions or feelings escaped him, He knew she should feel remorse, anger. But none of those emotions were there instead an emptiness. His ears quickly honed towards the sound of boots once again clicking down the hall, It was Lilith. Not even in the same room he felt her presence, some kind of link. He knew she was satisfied with her 'conquest'. It felt as if her mood were being projected into his very thoughts.
As the door slowly opened, Lilith walked in to see Vauldraie laying in the bed where she had left him, this time however his back was propped against the wooden headboard of the bed, in his hands he slowly twirled about his father's crown, as he slowly looked up towards her.
“you are awake” She spoke as she slowly sauntered her way towards the foot of the bed, taking a quick glance towards the corner where the dead little girl lay. “and I see my boy was thirsty as well”
Vauldraie simply tossed the crown to the side as it hit the dresser falling towards the ground as he softly spoke “Not nearly enough to quench this thirst” He watched as Lilith slowly turned her head towards him, and smiled. As she slowly climbed onto the bed, taking great care placing a leg on each side of him. “Lucky you my love, I just had a big meal” She spoke with a grin as she climbed closer, sitting up making sure she felt him grind her waist hard against her in some sexual perversion as she took her finger, the nail slowly grew growing sharp as she gently slid it against the wrist of her left hand. The warm blood quickly became pouring from the open wound as she lowered her hand to the eagerly awaiting mouth of Vauldraie, as he drank her blood, his eye's quickly began turning bloodshot, as he felt the surge of power wash through his vanes. He did not want to stop, for each drop shared with him a bit of her own knowledge, through visions and clues and scrambled thoughts. She finally screamed and pushed Vauldraie hard from her wrist as he fell against the headboard, She let out a gentle moan as if almost the ecstasy of the moment over whelmed her, her breath was shallow and light. Vauldraie simply looked up at her, her blood gently trailing down his lips as his fangs were still visible. “Why” his voice stern and demanding as she slowly looked down at him questioningly but before another second could pass, Vauldraie reached into his sleeve pulling out the letter opener and in an blur his hand sliced the jugular vane of her throat.
Lilith's eye's quickly widened when she realized what has just happened, she tired to scream but no sound came out, and when she tried to move she realized Vauldraie had his hands firmly secured to her hips, as he sat there not even a smile came across his face, as if he were empty and hallow. She watched as her hands moved to her throat trying to prevent as much blood loss as she could, yet they both knew it would do no good as gush after gush splashed against Vauldraie, landing everywhere she would twist and turn. It did not take long before she finally collapsed. Her lifeless body fell gracefully on top of Vauldraie as he just laid there, trying to make sense of the whole situation, what he had just done, what had happened to him. It was the oddest sensation however, her death was not out of vengeance like he had hoped, instead he felt an even darker pleasure arrive from such an action.
Taking his arm he simply rolled her over on the other side of him, now laying between his father and his new born mother, Both now dead, and no remorse or guilt fell over this damned creature. Slowly he got up walking over towards the chair, he reached down picking up the little girl. Gently laying on on the bed with the others. Stopping only long enough to make an apology to the dead child. Turning his attention towards the room he quickly went about gathering several kerosene lanterns, before stopping at the foot of the bed, Turning towards the wooden door's he started to walk towards them, tossing the lanterns onto the bed, the glass breaking as they hit against each other once making contact on the bed, it did not take long before the entire bed and half the ceiling was burning.
okay Feed back time
Update:Since I've got so much on my plate here recently, cyber and real life. It's getting harder for me to try and manage 2 Blogs, 5 different Social networks all in the name of "spreading" my Literature around. So I am considering this my spring cleaing of sorts.
Blogger.com (that's this one happens to be my favorite. yet I get the feel I do not get near as much traffic here as I do on my Myspace blog)
So I need some feed back for those subscribers, and those Lurkers. On what would be the best option for me at this moment in my life...
(New Fantasy Story Concept - Feed back as always accepted)
:::WARNING - Graphic Content, View descresion is advice, haha sorry gotta cover my own butt:::
Knives Vauldraie
By: Matthew Wayne
Explosions could be hard ringing, vibrating through the stone walls of the high tower. Standing before an open arched window stood a young beautiful woman, her long silky red hair flowed down to her mid back, yet tied down with a darker red bow. The sounds of steel on steel could be heard from down below as she watched the war wage on in the court yard. Wars and battles were nothing rare in this day and age when nobles and lords would fight for land or worse, resources and it was no surprise that when wars would ensure it would always bring out the worst of all creatures, as the lifeless corpse of a young hand maiden fell from the strange womans arms, her body falling hard to floor, her frozen eyes spoke of the last horror she saw as two puncture wounds poured the last drops of blood from her body.
The large wooden door swung open as a man slowly walked, his long black hair flowing freely as he walked dragging in a little girl bound and gagged. As he slid her across the floor behind the strange woman, he smiled at the sight of the dead hand maiden, he was of average size and build yet it was both their attires that seemed to be out of place for a place such as this, each wore black satin or silk garments, his happened to be a suit while hers hinted more towards a low cut, skin tight dress, a slit going up the side of her thigh made it easy for her to move about, long laced up boots barley touched her knees as she slowly turned around, kneeling down before the little child. Running a long red fingernail against her cheek, which was quickly followed by a trail of fresh blood
The man smiled as he looked down at his handy work, the woman's soft voice broke through the quite cries of the little girl. “You always find me the nicest toy's my dear Vincent” A smile escaped his mouth, bearing his razor sharp fangs as he replied “Anything for my love, my Queen. Lilith”. Yet before he could finish saying her name she dove in, fast and quick savoring every drop of that innocent blood. It was not long before she stood back to her feet, gently taking her arm wiping the few drops from her rosy red lips, that stood out against her fair pale flawless skin.
Turning around she once again walked towards the window, again looking down at the chaos below her, her clan as devious as they were played for both sides, a game Lilith had thought them, better for the hunt, the thrill and excitement. Yet as she watched she spotted one character she had not accounted for, Moments ago she counted it as luck as the man below in the court yard severed the head of one of her children, but now as she watched surrounded by two of her best hunters, was not only holding them at bay, but landing some serious blows. Lilith smirked knowing his fate had been sealed, as she Turned back towards Vincent who was busy admiring the art on the walls of the Lord's chamber.
“Find me another young one” She spoke gently, but stern enough to catch the attention of Vincent as he turned to look, nodding his head in agreement, he was suddenly taken back by the odd expression that quickly formed over Lilith's face, a face he had never seen before, yet before he could speak she had turned her head back towards the window and looked on with confusion as what her senses had told her was true, The stranger had managed to kill the two hunters he was fighting against, and was now engaging another one of her minions.
“Forget that, instead bring me that man down there” she pointed and in a split second Vincent was to her side looking down towards the stranger she was making out. He nodded his hand then slowly turned and walked towards the wooden down, before speaking “Are you sure you do not want both?”
Even the loss of her two best hunters Lilith could not help but smile at the kindness her pet was showing her, and she spoke in a soft voice “Yes, bring me both”
With that Vincent slowly disappeared out the large wooden door, to fetch the strangers and another child for his Mistress..
Chapter Two
The sound of his metal leggings could be heard slamming to the floor as two large brutes stood to each side of the stranger. What he could not see due to a large grain sack covering his face his other sense of smell could pick up, the room was full it. The slightest hint of metallic taste lingered in the air. As the stranger felt a hand on the back of his head pulling the sack from it he heard the voice of an angelic woman.
“Tell me 'Slayer', how was it that you knew I would be here?” As the man's vision slowly came back into focus he slowly looked about, what he saw almost caused his stomach to turn, the large bedroom chamber was filled with dead bodies, mostly that of young women and men, his ears caught the sound of a mumbled cry as his head slowly turned to his right to see another little child gagged and hog tied laying on the bed next to another corpse. Yet this corpse was no common man, he was once the lord of the manner, now dead and resting. His crown still upon his head.
“The Mistress asked you a question!” an irate Vincent who was standing behind the two large brutes marched forward his hand reared back ready to make contact against the stranger's face, but before he could even swing his arm, Lilith's soothing voice broke the air
“Stop” and in that one command froze Vincent's advancement, he stood there his head slowly turning towards the beautiful vixen.
“I was wrong.” She slowly went on to say as she turned towards the window one more, a smile forming over her face as she relished in the chaos down below. “He is not a Slayer, just a human.” Vincent turned his head, his black eyes piercing into the light green pupils of the strangers. Who was simply looking up at him, what sent Vincent through a loop however was his total lack of fear, this 'human' in which he despises was showing any lack of fear, as if he was ready to die.
Vincent slowly turned his head back towards Lilith who was now facing the group, the smile was gone but the gentle sparkle in her eye still remained. “Leave us my dear Vincent, I wish to sit with this human and speak of softer issues”
Vincent's right upper lip slowly curled up showing a hint of anger before straightening himself out, standing once more, he turned his head towards Lilith and bow his head showing signs of respect before choking out the words “yes my Mistress” Snapping his body towards the door and briskly walked out the wooden doors.
Lilith gracefully walked towards the stranger who was kneeling in front of her, his hands bound behind him the ropes so tight, causing them to dig into his skin. His light green eyes stared up into those of Lilith's crimson red pupils. “Don't mind him, he hates humans with a passion greater than my own”. She mused. Stopping a few feet short of him she slowly reached down picking him up by the collar of his thick leather vest, picking him to his feet. “You, who are seconds from death. Show know fear?” Before he could respond she turned and threw him to the bed landing beside the little girl who was crying and trying to scream.
Lilith slowly mounted the stranger, crawling up past his legs until she sat upon her lap. He was pinned. She could feel him trying to fight but with his hand bound behind him, he lacked any real leverage to throw her from his body. His helpless struggles only caused a slight amusement from the creature. Then finally the man spoke, his voice harsh and ragged from the many long hours of screaming from the war zone below them. “Just kill me and the girl already, Why make her suffer!” The anger showing through to his words. Lilith chuckled as she slowly leaned in, her tight leather bodice pressing against his leather vest as she whispered into his ears “oh my love, it's not her who is going to suffer” His eyes suddenly moved honed in towards Lilith's eyes who now was grinning, her sharp fangs baring all her vileness, as she wasted no timing leaning in for the bite.
His scream could be heard from down the hall even through the chaos of the bloodshed, His eyes were widened. As he felt his entire body slowly begin to tingle, his breathing becoming more shallow. Fainted images slowly passed through his line of sight, the longer she fed the hard it was becoming to catch air, the more light headed he became. Then she stopped, as quickly as those sensations fell upon him, the blood quickly rushed back towards his head. Before he could even come to his senses he felt warm drops of liquid touch his lips, it wasn't long before he made out the bitter taste of the metallic substance, slowly his eyes focus up and saw Lilith smiling down below him, holding out her arm, her wrist was cut as he watch drop after drop flow from her wrist, straight into his mouth. He wanted to resist at first but as each drop mixed with his own natural saliva, the taste changed. No longer bitter, but almost sweet. It had reminded him of when he was but a boy and would run off into the garden, picking a fresh strawberry. He could not take it any longer as he quickly sat up, and without resistance from Lilith she allowed his eagerly awaiting lips to meet her wrist, as he bit down, sucking, savoring every drop, the more he tasted the sweeter it became, a true nectar for the taste buds.
Chapter Three
The dreams were more like flashes, images of his past. The physical pain manifested itself into mental distress within his mind as Vauldraie would relive most of memories, the good and the bad. A son to a nobleman he was privileged, yet this did not stop him from his responsibilities. He knew he lived in troubling times, greed was abundant in these lands, Kings taxes drove noblemen to fight for more land, or resources. So Vauldraie would spend a lot of his time training his soldier's how to defend themselves, few would dare to actually attack his father's village. For their generous reputation gained them many allies. Yet like any empire of greed, their village sat upon a gold mine, rich with minerals and gems. Making them an easy target to many power hungry nations. Suddenly those images turned violent, horrifying. Dead bodies laying everywhere, men, women, and children. Bloody mangled and shredded. Vauldraie rose from the bed in a violent scream, his head tilted back as every dead body within miles of his presence plagued his mind in an instant. All at once they crept into his head filling them with the horrors of their death. As quickly as they came, they had vanished. Replaced by a sudden hunger, a craving. His mind kept recoiling at the thought of the taste of strawberries. Catching himself licking his lips at just the thought of that. Then his mind wandered to his body, he felt stronger, aches and pain that he would normally feel through his muscles were no longer there, surly the cut on his arm he had received in the battle earlier would be stinging him, yet when he went to check his arm there was no scratch, no blood not even so much as a hint of damage.
That is when it had hit him, the images of the woman they called Lilith straddling his waist pinning him to the bed, biting into his neck. His hand quickly went to his neck the spot where she had punctured his skin, but to his surprise there was not marks, not wounds. His tongue rang along the curves of his teeth, yet they were normal. His canine teeth were not protruding like hers or the others.
Looking around the room he had realized he was alone, slowly he crawled from the large bed, his body weak. As if drained of energy, he slowly staggered towards the window. Looking down he could see the battle slowly coming to an end, he was relieved to see it was his men, that were pushing back that onslaught of invaders. Gently using the stone archway as a crutch he slowly turned around only in time to hear a voice from behind the closed wooden doors, he remembered her voice all to well.
“I want you two to watch this door. My love shall need a few hours to rest, I will return when I help clear this village of its vermin.” With that he heard the sound of her boots walking down the hall until he could no longer make out the clicking sound.
Vauldraie, still weak and light headed could barley stand as his legs slowly gave way causing him to slide down the stone wall, his head slowly and heavily looked about the room once more, but stopped when they spotted the little girl still bound and gaged in the corner of the room passed out on a wide spread chair. He could hear her faint heart beating even across the room, even through the thick of war blaring below him out the window. His eyes focusing in on her skin, a protruding vain running down her little neck. Vauldraie shook his head violently, trying to distract his thoughts, but every time his mind would slowly wander back to that taste of strawberries, the smooth warm liquid, His tongue brushed against the now razor sharp canine within his mouth. His mind reared in the millions of thoughts coursing through his head, “What kind of monster had they turned him into?” Yet even now looking at the helpless girl laying in the chair he felt no remorse for her, He knew the thoughts were wrong, He even knew who the girl was, her mother was one of their cooks, and yet the taste in his mouth craved her blood, slowly he crawled over to the girl, just inches from her sleeping body.
Reaching out he stopped only long enough to observe his hand, a fair light pale complexion, yet it was his nails that had thrown him off, sharp yet strong. Slowly placing his hand on the shoulder of the little girl he gently rolled her over. Her ordeal had stressed her to the point of passing out as she laid there peacefully, softly breathing.
Vincent looked down at the little girl as his mind went crazy, with lust, desire, and most of all hate. “What have I done to deserve to be damned? Cursed from heaven, rejected from hell. What sins I must now bare”. His razor sharp teeth sank deep into the soft skin of the little girl before he even realized what he had done. So gentle he had not even woke the girl, who simply will pass within her slumber.
Blogger.com (that's this one happens to be my favorite. yet I get the feel I do not get near as much traffic here as I do on my Myspace blog)
So I need some feed back for those subscribers, and those Lurkers. On what would be the best option for me at this moment in my life...
(New Fantasy Story Concept - Feed back as always accepted)
:::WARNING - Graphic Content, View descresion is advice, haha sorry gotta cover my own butt:::
Knives Vauldraie
By: Matthew Wayne
Explosions could be hard ringing, vibrating through the stone walls of the high tower. Standing before an open arched window stood a young beautiful woman, her long silky red hair flowed down to her mid back, yet tied down with a darker red bow. The sounds of steel on steel could be heard from down below as she watched the war wage on in the court yard. Wars and battles were nothing rare in this day and age when nobles and lords would fight for land or worse, resources and it was no surprise that when wars would ensure it would always bring out the worst of all creatures, as the lifeless corpse of a young hand maiden fell from the strange womans arms, her body falling hard to floor, her frozen eyes spoke of the last horror she saw as two puncture wounds poured the last drops of blood from her body.
The large wooden door swung open as a man slowly walked, his long black hair flowing freely as he walked dragging in a little girl bound and gagged. As he slid her across the floor behind the strange woman, he smiled at the sight of the dead hand maiden, he was of average size and build yet it was both their attires that seemed to be out of place for a place such as this, each wore black satin or silk garments, his happened to be a suit while hers hinted more towards a low cut, skin tight dress, a slit going up the side of her thigh made it easy for her to move about, long laced up boots barley touched her knees as she slowly turned around, kneeling down before the little child. Running a long red fingernail against her cheek, which was quickly followed by a trail of fresh blood
The man smiled as he looked down at his handy work, the woman's soft voice broke through the quite cries of the little girl. “You always find me the nicest toy's my dear Vincent” A smile escaped his mouth, bearing his razor sharp fangs as he replied “Anything for my love, my Queen. Lilith”. Yet before he could finish saying her name she dove in, fast and quick savoring every drop of that innocent blood. It was not long before she stood back to her feet, gently taking her arm wiping the few drops from her rosy red lips, that stood out against her fair pale flawless skin.
Turning around she once again walked towards the window, again looking down at the chaos below her, her clan as devious as they were played for both sides, a game Lilith had thought them, better for the hunt, the thrill and excitement. Yet as she watched she spotted one character she had not accounted for, Moments ago she counted it as luck as the man below in the court yard severed the head of one of her children, but now as she watched surrounded by two of her best hunters, was not only holding them at bay, but landing some serious blows. Lilith smirked knowing his fate had been sealed, as she Turned back towards Vincent who was busy admiring the art on the walls of the Lord's chamber.
“Find me another young one” She spoke gently, but stern enough to catch the attention of Vincent as he turned to look, nodding his head in agreement, he was suddenly taken back by the odd expression that quickly formed over Lilith's face, a face he had never seen before, yet before he could speak she had turned her head back towards the window and looked on with confusion as what her senses had told her was true, The stranger had managed to kill the two hunters he was fighting against, and was now engaging another one of her minions.
“Forget that, instead bring me that man down there” she pointed and in a split second Vincent was to her side looking down towards the stranger she was making out. He nodded his hand then slowly turned and walked towards the wooden down, before speaking “Are you sure you do not want both?”
Even the loss of her two best hunters Lilith could not help but smile at the kindness her pet was showing her, and she spoke in a soft voice “Yes, bring me both”
With that Vincent slowly disappeared out the large wooden door, to fetch the strangers and another child for his Mistress..
Chapter Two
The sound of his metal leggings could be heard slamming to the floor as two large brutes stood to each side of the stranger. What he could not see due to a large grain sack covering his face his other sense of smell could pick up, the room was full it. The slightest hint of metallic taste lingered in the air. As the stranger felt a hand on the back of his head pulling the sack from it he heard the voice of an angelic woman.
“Tell me 'Slayer', how was it that you knew I would be here?” As the man's vision slowly came back into focus he slowly looked about, what he saw almost caused his stomach to turn, the large bedroom chamber was filled with dead bodies, mostly that of young women and men, his ears caught the sound of a mumbled cry as his head slowly turned to his right to see another little child gagged and hog tied laying on the bed next to another corpse. Yet this corpse was no common man, he was once the lord of the manner, now dead and resting. His crown still upon his head.
“The Mistress asked you a question!” an irate Vincent who was standing behind the two large brutes marched forward his hand reared back ready to make contact against the stranger's face, but before he could even swing his arm, Lilith's soothing voice broke the air
“Stop” and in that one command froze Vincent's advancement, he stood there his head slowly turning towards the beautiful vixen.
“I was wrong.” She slowly went on to say as she turned towards the window one more, a smile forming over her face as she relished in the chaos down below. “He is not a Slayer, just a human.” Vincent turned his head, his black eyes piercing into the light green pupils of the strangers. Who was simply looking up at him, what sent Vincent through a loop however was his total lack of fear, this 'human' in which he despises was showing any lack of fear, as if he was ready to die.
Vincent slowly turned his head back towards Lilith who was now facing the group, the smile was gone but the gentle sparkle in her eye still remained. “Leave us my dear Vincent, I wish to sit with this human and speak of softer issues”
Vincent's right upper lip slowly curled up showing a hint of anger before straightening himself out, standing once more, he turned his head towards Lilith and bow his head showing signs of respect before choking out the words “yes my Mistress” Snapping his body towards the door and briskly walked out the wooden doors.
Lilith gracefully walked towards the stranger who was kneeling in front of her, his hands bound behind him the ropes so tight, causing them to dig into his skin. His light green eyes stared up into those of Lilith's crimson red pupils. “Don't mind him, he hates humans with a passion greater than my own”. She mused. Stopping a few feet short of him she slowly reached down picking him up by the collar of his thick leather vest, picking him to his feet. “You, who are seconds from death. Show know fear?” Before he could respond she turned and threw him to the bed landing beside the little girl who was crying and trying to scream.
Lilith slowly mounted the stranger, crawling up past his legs until she sat upon her lap. He was pinned. She could feel him trying to fight but with his hand bound behind him, he lacked any real leverage to throw her from his body. His helpless struggles only caused a slight amusement from the creature. Then finally the man spoke, his voice harsh and ragged from the many long hours of screaming from the war zone below them. “Just kill me and the girl already, Why make her suffer!” The anger showing through to his words. Lilith chuckled as she slowly leaned in, her tight leather bodice pressing against his leather vest as she whispered into his ears “oh my love, it's not her who is going to suffer” His eyes suddenly moved honed in towards Lilith's eyes who now was grinning, her sharp fangs baring all her vileness, as she wasted no timing leaning in for the bite.
His scream could be heard from down the hall even through the chaos of the bloodshed, His eyes were widened. As he felt his entire body slowly begin to tingle, his breathing becoming more shallow. Fainted images slowly passed through his line of sight, the longer she fed the hard it was becoming to catch air, the more light headed he became. Then she stopped, as quickly as those sensations fell upon him, the blood quickly rushed back towards his head. Before he could even come to his senses he felt warm drops of liquid touch his lips, it wasn't long before he made out the bitter taste of the metallic substance, slowly his eyes focus up and saw Lilith smiling down below him, holding out her arm, her wrist was cut as he watch drop after drop flow from her wrist, straight into his mouth. He wanted to resist at first but as each drop mixed with his own natural saliva, the taste changed. No longer bitter, but almost sweet. It had reminded him of when he was but a boy and would run off into the garden, picking a fresh strawberry. He could not take it any longer as he quickly sat up, and without resistance from Lilith she allowed his eagerly awaiting lips to meet her wrist, as he bit down, sucking, savoring every drop, the more he tasted the sweeter it became, a true nectar for the taste buds.
Chapter Three
The dreams were more like flashes, images of his past. The physical pain manifested itself into mental distress within his mind as Vauldraie would relive most of memories, the good and the bad. A son to a nobleman he was privileged, yet this did not stop him from his responsibilities. He knew he lived in troubling times, greed was abundant in these lands, Kings taxes drove noblemen to fight for more land, or resources. So Vauldraie would spend a lot of his time training his soldier's how to defend themselves, few would dare to actually attack his father's village. For their generous reputation gained them many allies. Yet like any empire of greed, their village sat upon a gold mine, rich with minerals and gems. Making them an easy target to many power hungry nations. Suddenly those images turned violent, horrifying. Dead bodies laying everywhere, men, women, and children. Bloody mangled and shredded. Vauldraie rose from the bed in a violent scream, his head tilted back as every dead body within miles of his presence plagued his mind in an instant. All at once they crept into his head filling them with the horrors of their death. As quickly as they came, they had vanished. Replaced by a sudden hunger, a craving. His mind kept recoiling at the thought of the taste of strawberries. Catching himself licking his lips at just the thought of that. Then his mind wandered to his body, he felt stronger, aches and pain that he would normally feel through his muscles were no longer there, surly the cut on his arm he had received in the battle earlier would be stinging him, yet when he went to check his arm there was no scratch, no blood not even so much as a hint of damage.
That is when it had hit him, the images of the woman they called Lilith straddling his waist pinning him to the bed, biting into his neck. His hand quickly went to his neck the spot where she had punctured his skin, but to his surprise there was not marks, not wounds. His tongue rang along the curves of his teeth, yet they were normal. His canine teeth were not protruding like hers or the others.
Looking around the room he had realized he was alone, slowly he crawled from the large bed, his body weak. As if drained of energy, he slowly staggered towards the window. Looking down he could see the battle slowly coming to an end, he was relieved to see it was his men, that were pushing back that onslaught of invaders. Gently using the stone archway as a crutch he slowly turned around only in time to hear a voice from behind the closed wooden doors, he remembered her voice all to well.
“I want you two to watch this door. My love shall need a few hours to rest, I will return when I help clear this village of its vermin.” With that he heard the sound of her boots walking down the hall until he could no longer make out the clicking sound.
Vauldraie, still weak and light headed could barley stand as his legs slowly gave way causing him to slide down the stone wall, his head slowly and heavily looked about the room once more, but stopped when they spotted the little girl still bound and gaged in the corner of the room passed out on a wide spread chair. He could hear her faint heart beating even across the room, even through the thick of war blaring below him out the window. His eyes focusing in on her skin, a protruding vain running down her little neck. Vauldraie shook his head violently, trying to distract his thoughts, but every time his mind would slowly wander back to that taste of strawberries, the smooth warm liquid, His tongue brushed against the now razor sharp canine within his mouth. His mind reared in the millions of thoughts coursing through his head, “What kind of monster had they turned him into?” Yet even now looking at the helpless girl laying in the chair he felt no remorse for her, He knew the thoughts were wrong, He even knew who the girl was, her mother was one of their cooks, and yet the taste in his mouth craved her blood, slowly he crawled over to the girl, just inches from her sleeping body.
Reaching out he stopped only long enough to observe his hand, a fair light pale complexion, yet it was his nails that had thrown him off, sharp yet strong. Slowly placing his hand on the shoulder of the little girl he gently rolled her over. Her ordeal had stressed her to the point of passing out as she laid there peacefully, softly breathing.
Vincent looked down at the little girl as his mind went crazy, with lust, desire, and most of all hate. “What have I done to deserve to be damned? Cursed from heaven, rejected from hell. What sins I must now bare”. His razor sharp teeth sank deep into the soft skin of the little girl before he even realized what he had done. So gentle he had not even woke the girl, who simply will pass within her slumber.
An Angel
An Angel
By: Matthew Wayne
I thought I had seen my last rose bloom
forever trapped and locked within this desolate tomb.
So many thoughts cross my mind, So many are for you
treasure's locked within only a whisper of a clue
a mending heart, stitches visibly clear
but with gentle hands, you ease the fear
“I have forgotten, all the precious seconds
I have forgotten, all the gentle sensations
could you ever love a demon and all his sins?
A broken man who has all but given in?”
I thought I had seen my last Angel
I thought I had even sold my soul
but when I close my eyes I get lost in your voice
and my eyes locked within yours I'm lost within a void
I would part the sea, if it meant I could obtain even a key,
a piece of your heart, Valley's I would part
to see you smiles, I would crawl from the depths of hell
my love for you drives me to excel, yet its the loyalty, honesty,
and the love I am receiving, that leaves me speechless and dreaming.
My Interview with Sug!
A good friend of mine, decided to do a interview with me on my recent publication :) I of course needing all the publicity I can get agreed to do it, plus she's a friend and its hard for me to say no lol. So here without any further waiting, my interview.
Taken From Sug's blog
Hola everyone! I am doing a special interview with one of my good buddies Matthew Wayne of Texas. I have known him forever and a day and was very happy to hear of his first book being published. He was kind enough to send me a copy for me to read and it is excellent. I am looking forward to his fantasy novel that is in progress. I also would like to share him with all of you as well in hopes that you will pick up your own copy of his first book. Now lets get this interview started.
First of all tell us a little bit about yourself?
Hm, these types of questions has always been hard to answer. Lets see I was born in Utah, and was moved to Texas when I was still just a child. I am 26, have been writing since I was probably around 15, and even then my controversial style always seemed to either get me in trouble, or cause heads to turn.
How did the idea of your book come to be?
Over the years of writing I noticed I wouldn't throw any of my literature away, even if they were only one sentence long. Couldn't bring myself to part with them even though they were not complete Sonnet's they still came from a part of my soul. So one day an idea came to me to compile them all together and make a book, out of my incomplete quotes, poems, literature.
What inspired you to get your first book published?
Mainly to know that I had done it. Then it would have to be for you, and anyone else who wishes to read what I have to offer. Most dead poets would tell you it was never for the fame, or the money as everyone knows most died in poverty. No, my inspiration for getting my first book published was so that I could look back and know I left a mark, whether big or small an imprint into our culture and now history.
Will there be more writings and publications in the future?
Oh yes, a few more in fact. Currently in the works is a Fantasy/Fictional book "The Legacy of Sky" and another poetry/Literature book that will showcase all of my completed Sonnets, and Tangents.
Could you give us a verse from one of your poems and describe to us what inspired it?
From my Book?
One of my absolute favorites found within the book is located in chest five.
"Can you reach your dreams? or touch your god?
a ghostly visage, a desert mirage.
offspring of knowledge
sons and daughters of the white coat sage"
This passage has always been easy for me to remember what the inspiration was and still is. In the age of Science we seem to still cling to childish fairytale, like the child's tooth fairy we still grasp for the illusions. Whether its a single tangible god or wishes made by tossing a penny into the fountain, We have truly as a spices fallen from understanding of how this universe behaves, and we have forgotten knowledge that even our ancestors are teaching us today, We are the white coat sages.
And finally,How do we go about in getting our hands on a copy of your book?
Thank you for inquiring! :) simple really.
You can order them online at either Amazon.com or by going here.
https://www.createspace.com/3390099
The online price is currently set to $12.50 this is to help cover the publisher's cost. However if you wish to get a copy for only $10 simply email me at waynecanning@hotmail.com, with the subject line of "Book Order" with your shipping address, and your method of payment. however cannot take credit cards at the moment.
Thank you, and hope you all enjoy the read.
Where is my beautiful Sonnet?
Okay, as most of you all are aware my computer has died on me the other night, I have yet to crack her open and check her guts and see what all I will want to replace. So this has caused a little damper to my online time as I am now forced to use my very slow laptop. Yet still thankful for it for without it I would not be getting into cyber land for sometime.
I have also ordered more copies of my book, for those who are interested in one, just email me or leave your contact information here, ordering through me will knock off a few dollars. ($10) compared to the ($12.50) ordering online, the only problem however is I cannot take credit cards, just money orders, checks and will even take cash though to be honest if got gold I'll even work with you there, you know with the economy tanking like it is haha.
I make light of a very serious issue, yet I cannot seem to grasp hold of any tangible words or phrases, everywhere I turn or look I am faced with a muse, a creative inclination of desire. However the words to express what my thoughts are imprinting into my mind escape me, hidden, or possibly covered up by the distraction of another. I have been facing quite a fury here the last couple of weeks, thoughts and emotions weaving and twisting leaving me speechless and breathless at the same time., For three weeks now my mind has been locked on a single tangent, “Out of tragedy spawns beauty”
My mind feels like its been sized up, frozen in a single moment, and yet even now I can feel the sublte hint of a migraine fast approaching. The more I try and focus on creating any type of sonnet my mind creeps that much closer to the pain. Being distracted however can have its many benefits, where as you lack any creative flow for awhile, you have the constant reminder of release, and forgotten temporary of course but depending on how long the distraction is depends on how long the suffering stays at bay.
This is my first blog post in quite some time, but at least its an update. Maybe one day I will be able to share, what has been a roller coaster of a ride for these few weeks, and from the looks of things, and the tides ahead its only going to get that much more interesting.....
Lost Treasure's Collection Now Available on Amazon.com
The title pretty much sums it all up, if you go to Amazon.com do a quick search for "Lost Treasure's Collection" or "Matthew Wayne" my book should pop right up on the first page!! so for those who have an amazon account and would like to purchase a copy of my book, simply follow the instructions!!
However if anyone out there is still interested in getting the book at a reduced price, keep checking back for more details. I have a friend who is working on a website for my literature, a way people could buy my books through me at a much cheaper price.
Also would like to spotlight a good song by Shinedown - Sound of Madness
Autumn and the Changing tide
The seasons change, the leaves fall from their leaves as autumn beckons around the corner, On the surface it would seem its the season of death, or dying until you enter into the kingdom of winter. It does not look it yet, still the last traces of summer are fixed to the trees and the air. Yet you can feel the change admits the breeze.
When you look deeper, down past the roots that hold everything stable you will slowly realize autumn is not harbinger of death, but that of renew. At night we sleep, only to wake the next morning refreshed and ready for whatever the day is willing to bring to our door steps, No different then Nature herself, She rests until the last winter breaks and the bloom starts again. I thought I had learned just about all I could from this world, from our mother. From the very universe itself, I thought I had mastered my own divine makings, The flaws that make us human, and the breath I take to survive. Thought I understood my own mental trap that is known as my mind, I was proven wrong in just few words. Less time then it would take to convert energy into movement to turn off the source of my discomfort.
The universe is a vast and complex dance, Galaxies and Plants all gracefully twirling around in a chaotic yet organized pattern. To say there is one tangible god pulling at the strings of our lives and the patterns of the unknown is laughable, and I still believe to cling to one belief or religion over another is disrespectful to not only our own intelligence but to those who have gone before us. to claim the living knows the very secrets of the dead proves who uncivilized we as people can be. This experience has only strengthened a few of my views, changed my outlook on others, but most of all gained knowledge and experience I'd never trade. As it continues my one true passion in life will be to learn and grow, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
July 22, 2009
"We have truly fallen from grace, traded our freedom
for the Illusion thereof, Slavery branded and gagged
by the fear, for they shall receive only broken promises
Their pride, then destroys any dignity they had left.
Their only option then is to follow, for mankind is no
different than any other Animal, break their spirit
domesticate their will, and you will tame their wild passion"
"We have truly fallen from grace, traded our freedom
for the Illusion thereof, Slavery branded and gagged
by the fear, for they shall receive only broken promises
Their pride, then destroys any dignity they had left.
Their only option then is to follow, for mankind is no
different than any other Animal, break their spirit
domesticate their will, and you will tame their wild passion"
An Angel's Glass Mask
Everything seems to haven fallen in place
with it comes a confusing but subtle grace
She was an angel wearing a mask
with a soul clear as glass
In a world lost to hate, where love seems late
we marvel at it's gifts, over look life and often forget
It's never about tomorrow, the misery or sorrow
but rather the now and present
A life fulfilled with no resentment
Darkness clouds the ego, depression will soon show
doubt lingers in the mind, then consumes the time
There was an angel wearing a mask
her soul was clear as glass
she held no hate, or fear as she whispered into my ear
'you are lost within that dark forest,
wolves on the hunt, no where to rest'
I've heard the songs sung by the angels
I've heard the stories of forgotten fables
and I have even lived in some form of poverty
but I had forgotten, what I now see
'The whispers of an angel before me'
"Will I ever obtain my redemption,
followed my heart, lead me to temptation
So much pain has passed through this heart of mine
broken and bruised, I'm surprised I am still alive
There must be an angel watching over me
many times I should be dead, yet I still breath
traveling a lonely desert road
with open arms, it's the life I had chose"
I've pleaded for the sorrow to end, a scar I must bare
looking into your eyes, I'm lost within your stare
a tortured soul, trapped within desolation
a broken man, fighting for salvation.
Everything seems to haven fallen in place
with it comes a confusing but subtle grace
She was an angel wearing a mask
with a soul clear as glass
In a world lost to hate, where love seems late
we marvel at it's gifts, over look life and often forget
It's never about tomorrow, the misery or sorrow
but rather the now and present
A life fulfilled with no resentment
Darkness clouds the ego, depression will soon show
doubt lingers in the mind, then consumes the time
There was an angel wearing a mask
her soul was clear as glass
she held no hate, or fear as she whispered into my ear
'you are lost within that dark forest,
wolves on the hunt, no where to rest'
I've heard the songs sung by the angels
I've heard the stories of forgotten fables
and I have even lived in some form of poverty
but I had forgotten, what I now see
'The whispers of an angel before me'
"Will I ever obtain my redemption,
followed my heart, lead me to temptation
So much pain has passed through this heart of mine
broken and bruised, I'm surprised I am still alive
There must be an angel watching over me
many times I should be dead, yet I still breath
traveling a lonely desert road
with open arms, it's the life I had chose"
I've pleaded for the sorrow to end, a scar I must bare
looking into your eyes, I'm lost within your stare
a tortured soul, trapped within desolation
a broken man, fighting for salvation.
An Unnamed Poem, and a few updates
:::This Poem was written out of the inspiration of a lost friend, and a new friend gained through that tragedy. Still being very rough, and new it has no name and needs one. So a few suggestions?
I can remember what it was like,
when a garden was filled so bright
I have been wandering down the endless rows
walking past the wilted and dead roses
the echo of her voice, can still be heard
after all these years, I can still remember those words
Was I your vampyre, your unholy affection
placed within my own purgatory, faced my own crucifixion
I have forgotten the meaning behind the gentle kiss
the tender touch, there is so much I have missed
In a world of saint's, we all hide behind masks
Iron, porcelain, and even some made of glass
When an Angel is lost today,
and no words do justice to be exchanged
A soul has returned to the unknown
within this universe we all call home
So much pain, so much suffering surrounds us
not enough hope, never enough faith, and love you can never touch
There can be no winner, to an unsolvable debate
"Are we random anomalies, or designed possibilities"
Where every choice we make, chances our fate.
...........................
Also got the first shipment of my books in today will begin the process of inquiring orders and filling them... :) Also I've been telling people if I could I'd drop the price of the book, and I figured out a way to manage this, If people are willing to order the books through me instead of a third party sales I can offer the book at a much more decent rate. around the lines of $10 with maybe even a promotional offer later on of even a bit cheaper then that...
A Girl named Hali Rebecca
I don't even know where to start,
A few days ago out of the blue, this girl added me to her myspace page, it turned out she lived in Lindale not very far from me. in fact I frequent that town on many occasions, She was a Nurse that worked in the Emergency room at Tyler. For the short amount of time we had together, we talked, we laughed and we shared in personal stories of our lives, even our dreams for the future. Oddly enough if it wasnt our future dreams and goals that helped us click so well together it could have just as easily been our passion for knowleage and science and religious philosophies. I remember her telling me one night how amazed and surprised she was with how well my ideals for science had fit so well with religion.
We had made plans to visit yesterday and hang out for the first time, but her family had came down, but later that day we had been talking some more and She told me if she could get away for a bit she would come out and see me.
Please forgive me but this part gets hard for me to write, later that night after work I got home and like always turned my computer on. a few minutes into surfing an she pops on line in the myspace IM, though it turned out to be her little sister not her, She then goes on to explain to me what felt like a waking nightmare.
Hali had left her house pulling her sister to the side to tell her she was going to come get me and bring me back there so I could meet her and the family, she took her motorcycle because we were jokingly about that earlier and she wanted me to take a ride on it. From what the Sister has told me, she crashed her bike pretty bad and was life flighted to Huston, where a nurse who was friends with her called her sister (since her parents had already left to drive to the hosbital) that Hali's heart had gave out, and she passed away.
I understand it is not my fault, I also know that I could have had no idea or told her to not do it since she was going to surprise me as it were, since it all was in humor when we were talking about her sneaking away from her family. Being human I am prone to human thoughts and feelings, and one of them is guilt. I do feel guilt because I put her in harms way.
There is a small voice, slowly ticking in the back of my brain. it keeps repeating roger's mantra "god thats great, please show me the blessing in this" But I see no silver lining in the distance from the outcome of this, I know I have to live the rest of my life being the one responsible for another soul returning into the void.
Sorry.
Rest in Peace, Hali Rebecca.
A few days ago out of the blue, this girl added me to her myspace page, it turned out she lived in Lindale not very far from me. in fact I frequent that town on many occasions, She was a Nurse that worked in the Emergency room at Tyler. For the short amount of time we had together, we talked, we laughed and we shared in personal stories of our lives, even our dreams for the future. Oddly enough if it wasnt our future dreams and goals that helped us click so well together it could have just as easily been our passion for knowleage and science and religious philosophies. I remember her telling me one night how amazed and surprised she was with how well my ideals for science had fit so well with religion.
We had made plans to visit yesterday and hang out for the first time, but her family had came down, but later that day we had been talking some more and She told me if she could get away for a bit she would come out and see me.
Please forgive me but this part gets hard for me to write, later that night after work I got home and like always turned my computer on. a few minutes into surfing an she pops on line in the myspace IM, though it turned out to be her little sister not her, She then goes on to explain to me what felt like a waking nightmare.
Hali had left her house pulling her sister to the side to tell her she was going to come get me and bring me back there so I could meet her and the family, she took her motorcycle because we were jokingly about that earlier and she wanted me to take a ride on it. From what the Sister has told me, she crashed her bike pretty bad and was life flighted to Huston, where a nurse who was friends with her called her sister (since her parents had already left to drive to the hosbital) that Hali's heart had gave out, and she passed away.
I understand it is not my fault, I also know that I could have had no idea or told her to not do it since she was going to surprise me as it were, since it all was in humor when we were talking about her sneaking away from her family. Being human I am prone to human thoughts and feelings, and one of them is guilt. I do feel guilt because I put her in harms way.
There is a small voice, slowly ticking in the back of my brain. it keeps repeating roger's mantra "god thats great, please show me the blessing in this" But I see no silver lining in the distance from the outcome of this, I know I have to live the rest of my life being the one responsible for another soul returning into the void.
Sorry.
Rest in Peace, Hali Rebecca.
Lost Treasure's Collection - Now Available
"There is something within me holding me back
The wolves always on the prowl, ready for the attack
as I no longer recognize the face in the mirror staring me back"
Lost Treasure's Collection
by: Matthew Wayne
A collection of old Poetry and literature
https://www.createspace.com/3390099
Visit my E-store and buy a copy now
for only $12.50
"I can tell your hanging on by a single thread
The voices screaming inside your head
pulling at your hair, wishing you were dead
medicate your brain, trying to stay sane
all while you hold onto too much pain."
The wolves always on the prowl, ready for the attack
as I no longer recognize the face in the mirror staring me back"
Lost Treasure's Collection
by: Matthew Wayne
A collection of old Poetry and literature
https://www.createspace.com/3390099
Visit my E-store and buy a copy now
for only $12.50
"I can tell your hanging on by a single thread
The voices screaming inside your head
pulling at your hair, wishing you were dead
medicate your brain, trying to stay sane
all while you hold onto too much pain."
"The Day of Mourning"
(Lost Treasure's Collection)
Time slowly creeps on by
before you know it, it's your time to die
trading your soul for just more time
even sober I can't walk their straight line
while presidents commit political crimes
My voice heard by the tip of this pen
remembering what it was like back then
I can still feel the pain, scars burned in my brain
and the thought of going insane
can you reach your dreams?, or touch your god?
a ghostly visage, a desert mirage
offspring of knowledge
sons and daughters of the white coat sage
no more lies, no more killing
a utopia for the filling
thousands of followers, devout believers
sheep to the herd of deceivers.
A slave to the market
A broken government, that fails to commit
A wasted life, filled with regret
Pick away your flesh until you reach bone
while you pray your sins will atone
for when you die, you are alone
A devil in disguise, claiming your soul as the prize
No where left to run,
No escape for the sins you've done
The Sun is setting, your thoughts regressing
all while your body decays, screaming gods name
suffering from a lifetime of pain
There was once a garden full of flowers
and romance that lasted for hours
just a fading memory now, that will live forever
in my mind as if hidden treasure
and an even more sinful pleasure
burn your resolution, searching for absolution
killing your ambition, all in the name of your addiction
for when you have nothing left,
you will pray for death.
(Lost Treasure's Collection)
Time slowly creeps on by
before you know it, it's your time to die
trading your soul for just more time
even sober I can't walk their straight line
while presidents commit political crimes
My voice heard by the tip of this pen
remembering what it was like back then
I can still feel the pain, scars burned in my brain
and the thought of going insane
can you reach your dreams?, or touch your god?
a ghostly visage, a desert mirage
offspring of knowledge
sons and daughters of the white coat sage
no more lies, no more killing
a utopia for the filling
thousands of followers, devout believers
sheep to the herd of deceivers.
A slave to the market
A broken government, that fails to commit
A wasted life, filled with regret
Pick away your flesh until you reach bone
while you pray your sins will atone
for when you die, you are alone
A devil in disguise, claiming your soul as the prize
No where left to run,
No escape for the sins you've done
The Sun is setting, your thoughts regressing
all while your body decays, screaming gods name
suffering from a lifetime of pain
There was once a garden full of flowers
and romance that lasted for hours
just a fading memory now, that will live forever
in my mind as if hidden treasure
and an even more sinful pleasure
burn your resolution, searching for absolution
killing your ambition, all in the name of your addiction
for when you have nothing left,
you will pray for death.
...........
As I am sure you are all aware, I'm not very good at self promotion haha. However I am very excited to offer you all the chance to own a copy of my hard work. The poetry and literature comprised in this collection are old, some dating back more then Ten plus years. A lot of them had to be pieced together just for them to be coherently readable. I know I also said it was only $12 but I decided to put an extra .50c to cover the "Taxes" yes big brother has to get their greedy hands into everything, but even still at 12.50 I feel is a good buy for a great read.
Since I had just approved of its release, it still has yet to make its way over to Amazon.com but once it does I'll send over the link as Im sure more people have amazon accounts then createspace. Just remember I am not making much money off this title, infact one wouldnt even count it as "profitable" I am mainly releaseing this more so for myself then the public as this is my first publication, I am also dedicating this book to a dear friend of mine and mentor. She passed away not to long ago, lived a full and rich life and was also one of the few who encouraged me to persue my passion for writing and I felt no better way then to thank her by dedicating this title to her. Jaent Bridges, you will be missed..
Also since this is my first publication its a big deal, and have offered a few of my close friends autographed copies of my book, however if you are interested in a autographed copy of the book simply email me waynecanning@hotmail.com or leave a message here, with a way I can get in touch with you. Since it will still cost me, the price will still be there unfortuniately, If only I was made of money I'd give them out for free haha.
So to all my readers, I hope you enjoy this title.
As I am sure you are all aware, I'm not very good at self promotion haha. However I am very excited to offer you all the chance to own a copy of my hard work. The poetry and literature comprised in this collection are old, some dating back more then Ten plus years. A lot of them had to be pieced together just for them to be coherently readable. I know I also said it was only $12 but I decided to put an extra .50c to cover the "Taxes" yes big brother has to get their greedy hands into everything, but even still at 12.50 I feel is a good buy for a great read.
Since I had just approved of its release, it still has yet to make its way over to Amazon.com but once it does I'll send over the link as Im sure more people have amazon accounts then createspace. Just remember I am not making much money off this title, infact one wouldnt even count it as "profitable" I am mainly releaseing this more so for myself then the public as this is my first publication, I am also dedicating this book to a dear friend of mine and mentor. She passed away not to long ago, lived a full and rich life and was also one of the few who encouraged me to persue my passion for writing and I felt no better way then to thank her by dedicating this title to her. Jaent Bridges, you will be missed..
Also since this is my first publication its a big deal, and have offered a few of my close friends autographed copies of my book, however if you are interested in a autographed copy of the book simply email me waynecanning@hotmail.com or leave a message here, with a way I can get in touch with you. Since it will still cost me, the price will still be there unfortuniately, If only I was made of money I'd give them out for free haha.
So to all my readers, I hope you enjoy this title.
Sug's Zombie Giveaway!!!
ZOMBIE GIVEAWAY TIME!!!(first giveaway ever!)
So by the show of hands, how many of you all are ready for my Zombie-made goodies giveaway?!
Okay then, I am not afraid of you!
Whats up for grabs is my polymer made items, a cupcake phone charm, a zombie heart with scars to prove your worth in this "oh so" cruel world, and finally a zombie flesh pendant to wear around your neck to deter those pesky creature away. I am sure if you smell like them they will not come near you out of confusion. lol.
Now onto how to win these fabulous items. Very simple I think that is lol.
First of all You must be following my blog, let your followers know on your blog what is going on here cause all you need to do is this, tell me if you were to have your own movie/story about zombies what would your basic scenario be for it, keep it short(up to 8 sentences if you can but no more than 12) Please leave your email address as well so I have a way to get a hold of you.
I am just curious how faithful to the zombie genre the future winner will be for winning these bad boys. I surely don't want to give these up to someone that will not have the appreciation for the theme.
Last day to sign up will be July 25th at 11pm central time. I will Choose the winner the 27th and the winner has 3 days to claim or I will choose another who will have 24 hours to respond. I will have mail out your prize by August 3rd.
HAVE FUN ZOMBIE LOVERS!!!
(To Go to Sug's Blog go here http://sugarcoated-chaos.blogspot.com/ )
Lost Treasure's Delay
Pretty huh? :) Well that is the cover for my very first official publication, however after reviewing the book I noticed a few minor errors here and there so I will take the next few days to re-edit the interior files so that they are fixed. So I hate to say this but Lost Treasure's Collection's official release will be postponed for about a week or two. Fret not for it will be released, and once it is its off to the woodshed to start on my second publication. Which will most likely be my Fictional/Fantasy Book "Legacy of Sky"
Something on the horizon
I have been a bit elusive lately, avoiding anything that would cause my mind to "think" been feeling a bit crowded up there. Okay so here is the deal, I'm going through a slow process of updating my Myspace Page. I also must admit my anticipation to see the proof copy of my book has me a bit wound up, I must not get my hopes up for my goal here was not to turn a profit, but to know the world has the option to read what I have to offer. I have also been dabbling back into writing, as many of you are aware I took sort of a little hiatus from writing apart from that one hit "Running little man" lyric/poem I wrote. I am almost starting to look forward to working on my next book.
I also been thinking on what to do with my fictional/fantasy book "The Legacy of Sky" whether or not I should compile all three saga's into one big novel, or try them separately, however since this is not a pressing issue I'll slide it over to the back burner for now.
"There is something brewing on the horizon, through the smog and thick haze
I can smell the war in the air, lest these be our last days"
I would also like to dedicate another spot to Tom Morello, The Nightwatchman on his song "Whatever it takes"
My First Published Book
Yay, go me right? that is usually the theme when someone gets their work published. I am ecstatic that I have a book being published but not so much for it to get sold or to make any money off of it. (though without being said would be nice) No for me its the idea of being recognized for my sweat and tears the many sleepless nights and fits of depression. Currently I am waiting on the proof copy to come to me in the mail, Once I receive it I get the option to proof read it, so that would mean sorting through the hiddious spelling and grammar errors, though my spelling has gotten stronger I am still man enough to admit my grammar sucks haha.
Update
Its sad really, a deep secret I keep from people. Nobody knows, not my mother for father or even my closest friend. It's not a shameful secret when you think about it, dig down into the roof of the problem. Let me first start from the beginning as I knew few who will read this may or not completely understand.
For as long as I can remember I've been suffering from Insomnia, doctors have told me time after time that its considered by their "books" Chronic Insomnia, I could be dead ass tired, but once I lay my head down to try and go to sleep, my mind starts to race, thoughts and ideas swarm me. Over the years it was beginning to get harder and harder for me to fall asleep, until I realized one night, being drunk. Plastered and ten sheets to the wind that when I closed my eyes I was out cold. Some of the best sleep I'd ever gotten, I don't dare tell my doctors, nor do I share this with my friends. For I know what goes on in people's heads, what would you first think if someone mentioned to you "That the only way sounds sleep ever visits my bed, is when I am passed out from another chemical", Drugs, Booze. or even over the counter sleeping pills, Yet the nasty groggy side effects from them leave me without wanting.
First reaction out of your mind would be "he just wants to score, get fucked up, Theres nothing wrong "traumatic" with him hes just a junkie"
The longest I've ever stayed up was about a week with a few power naps here or there, it was getting to the point I was starting to see things, hallucinate. people I thought I knew but was not even there. I hate it, like a black fog it rolls over my mind shuts down the neurons and am unable to think straight.
-------------------------
Also my book got published :D So I am waiting on the proof copy to come in the mail, to check it out make sure the final cut and everything is good :) I'll post another update when I get it and even post pictures :D yay I am excited about that.
Hey, Hey, Running little man
Hey, Hey, Running little man
whats the rush, do you even have a plan?
Hey, Hey, the fire's on the inside
running little man there is no where left to hide
Stand up, Shout out, let your voice be heard
protest, fight back, the mob has been stirred
murder and distrust, floats upon an ocean of lust
swallow your pride, your government has lied
where is the justice when the law can be bribed
Hey, Hey, running little man, who's on your side?
who has your back? when they are on the attack.
the battle lines have been drawn, when you realize its all been a con.
What side do you stand on?, you can only run for so long.
Hey, Hey, Running little man
When are you going to stop and take a stand?
When are you going to wake up and take back your land?
Hey, Hey, the Banks are on the run
little man's staring down the barrel of a gun
click, click, the bombs are exploding
click, click, the guns are reloading
run little man, the streets are filling with bodies
March on, as you dance from the strings of lobbyists
March on, as you continue to resist, continue to insist.
Hey, Hey, Running little man your labeled an Anarchist.
Note: I was inspired to write these lyrics/poem by RATM Inside the fire, good song and my anger towards the government for their tyranny towards the little man.
Don't Shoot me Bro!
Now I know I only got three readers, but then there are the strays so I will just rant fuck it. I'm tired of watching the news, Current events are driving me crazy, insanity runs rampant. Stupidity seems to be the current theme, like printing money we DONT EVEN HAVE, its just paper now people. Realize that its not backed by anything more then our own spending. And the federal reserve just continues to print it like its going out of style, who do you think buys our currency to make it even tradeable, that would be China, yeah you know the famous Dictator? well what do you think our own president is anymore, he has more power then congress and our forefathers are rolling in their graves, Look at our government as a scale, Three branches of power. Each were supposed to equal the other out. but now the president ONE man has more power then Congress or the legislative branch, but really now does that matter? Each are bought off by the Banks, and guess what the Federal reserve is?
Okay anyway Im ranting to much here now Im gonna get added to their little kill list. Either I am going crazy, from propaganda media. Or we are literally up shit creak without a paddle and its gonna hit the fan pretty soon.
Afterthought: Hahaha I love the title :D
Update
Alright, just wanted to posted a little update on my current situation. Not like I have a very large reading audience but hey I'm not here to write for them but rather for me. Over the weekend my mother was admitted to the hospital for anemone, They told her she was like three days away from it becoming fatal. So they kept her in the hospital to keep an eye on her, well she's now released and doing much better so that is a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders.
Now onto the second bit on news, I managed to acquire a job in this troubled economy, its only two hours a night working at a local gas station, seven days a week but hey at least its a job and its money. I plan on saving most of my pay for my trip into Hawaii. I have been giving that some serious thought and I have came to the conclusion to the idea that I will not live there but rather stay a few months, hopefully my Reverend would be kind enough to help guide me along my spiritual path as well as teach me about the one plant mother nature has created that has made my life so much better.
I also figured out I managed to break down the writers block I had been suffering from, a big sigh of relief there but I knew deep down that once I found a muse, which would have been anything from a song to a thought that my passion would spark like a raging fire.
I have been neglecting my VST blogg here for quite some time, so to make up for that when I get the time to edit the chapters I'll go ahead and post two or three to make up for the late posting.
and as a little side note, does anyone have any ideas on how to attract more readers? :) not that it matters, it would just be nice to try and get my voice, my writing out to a larger audience.
Tangent 6/13/09
Tangent June 13, 2009
We have allowed the banks to take over,
polluting our government, depriving us and our children
homeless and starving are our brothers and sisters
and religion has fallen to one or more of their own sins
and we the people are herded around as cattle, running on command
A blissful servitude, with daily injections through the radio or television.
Our minds numbed from the chemical intoxicants we digest knowingly or unknowingly.
Apathy consumes the single man, while hysteria claims the masses.
A pandemic, to the cancer that is our own beating hearts
children in grown bodies devour the innocence of being alive,
negativity can and will center within your core and fester
An inner atomic bomb just ticking away until it goes off
while burning every bridge you've made until your stuck and alone on the island
there is a miracle within every gift, one just needs to look
big or small it transcends any emotion or feeling, truly unique divine experience
and where religion has failed, there is your own spirituality
where governments have betrayed you, there is your own actions and responsibilities.
You cannot hide nor run from your future, a blank page waiting to be written
We all live this one life we know we have and all exist within this perception of reality.
dwelling on a planet that provides to us everything and anything we could need
as a species on this planet, we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past
if we do not chose to learn and remember the lessons learned. and teach our
children the values of what free men and women truly meant.
For if we do not change our course, freedom will just become an echo in the past
where for a moment in time, in history free men and women lived and died, even if it were for a short period of time.
Where are all of the hero's of old
In the bed time stories you've been told
we each hold a piece of the puzzle, a key to the secret.
From your first breath to your last, this life is a commitment
let us write our songs, so that our children can right our wrongs
while born into a broken system, struggling just to resist them
No longer can words be freely spoke, printing money yet were still broke
debt is nothing but slavery, am I the only one left who can see?
the birth of an empire was formed, from what our forefather's have forewarned.
How can a baby who has yet to breath, owe anything to another man's greed?
History will always teach us something, if we chose to look
and it is not always hidden within a book.
Their world has indeed changed, as they pull ever so tighter on our chains.
One World does not mean one order
One world does not mean one order
By: Matthew Wayne
I have often sat thinking, deep within my haze through clouds of thoughts and visions how does one attain tranquility? Where if you could have all the money in the world, The largest house filled with the most beautiful art and all the hands to serve at your beck and call. Would that give you happiness? Would you be comfortable knowing others are around you suffering and could do with just the scraps you possess?
Often when you hear the word, One world most would turn to the highlighted conspiracy of a world order, few to rule over many. That truly does not have to be the case, When enlightened men and women live together in peace they thrive on each other's presence. Where Ignorance does not breed hate, but rather distrust. As ignorance is not a disease but rather poor teaching. Our children are the future to our world and we still wage wars, play games with other's lives. Where distrust floats in a river of blood and we as humans continue to lie, cheat and steal.
So much can be gained if we chose to work together instead of against each other, borders no longer blocked by walls but marked by respect. Laws and customs protected by their people and observed by their tourist.
Governments are only needed for the governed, where bureaucrats say one thing and to many times do another. Personal agendas and greed fill their eyes as they write laws unjust and unfit for any man, woman or child. Yet they continue to get away with it for they appear before the masses and spew lies, telling them its for the best, a silver tongue fit for a snake. Millions of people go starving everyday here and around the world, yet we do not hear about this, unless its through a commercial trying to make a profit from a suffering soul. The world has indeed changed, and grown smaller not physically but sociably. Friends are no longer the ones you interact with on a daily basis through the means of physical attraction, but rather calls or messages from thousands if not millions of miles out. An Emotional, Mental or meta physical connection can take place. If we can fall in love with someone we have never met before in person, then why can we still allow thousands to suffer that are only blocks away?
Our planet is not the only one suffering, Humans are hurting, bleeding and crying out everyday yet the mass turns a blind eye, Not that they would not care, No for the most part the reaction is usually this. “I have so much to worry about myself” While this is true life, itself is not an easy task to undertake. However I figure that since our government loves to throw money around as if it were going out of style why not spend trillions on the homeless, and the starving.
We are damned if we continue down the path we are headed, not only will we destroy ourselves but the legacy of our forefathers will become a shameful name spoken on the lips hundreds of years from now in a new age. What that age will become will be of our creation.
Whispers from the past
My heart hangs heavy, as my mind starts to race
and once again the dance of insomnia begins.
Suffering from writers block has never settled with me, The thought of not being able to write or even express how I feel scares me more then anything my mind can manifest. It has become my lone voice in the jungle that is Corporate America. Though like any wild species on this planet I have a strong resilience and an even stronger survival mechanism, Even writing this shows I am slowly over coming what has clouded my mind for many days now.
So let me share with you, my few but hopefully loyal readers of what it was that was causing my mental suppression. I have never been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, Once in awhile I will however let that slip and like a flood gate that was suddenly opened as surge of "feelings" come over me, all of them wrapped up in a nice cocktail. Knowing myself however is the key and a risky bet, Humans are by far the most complex creature on this planet as advanced as we like strut, our science knows very little about how our bodies truly works. As it was only recently have scientists discovered Cannabinoid receptors throughout our body. Interesting huh? or how about that our brains are part receivers for an invisible wave pattern in the space time continuum. For me knowledge is the secret, I may truly never learn the language of the universe as math still continues to fly way over the top of my head. The only way I could possibly describe it is the science has me spellbound.
So I was noting to the fact that sometimes my emotions get the better of me, I have learned through the years that we all suffer from this. Consider it a genetic disorder, As humans we often bottle up our emotions, our feelings suppressing them. As studies have shown this only does you harm, So each of us deal with this disorder in our own individual way. Mine just so happens to that my mind decides to become, well lazy. Refusing to tap into the creative side of my brain and string words together, The longest one of these episodes lasted as well over five years.
The Ironic part about the whole situation is now that I have cured my depression, who used to feel and think that the only reason I could write like I did and still do was because of my depression, my morbid and darker nature. Later of course I found out this to be wrong. Every time I lapse into disorder I find myself growing more and more depressed, an almost exact opposite from the way I was years ago.
Over the course of a month when I can calm the storm and catch some rem sleep, I find myself back at the hospital each time "new" things are revealed to me things that had happened but had suppressed or forgotten. Little things, and substantial things. I remember not being able to use the bathroom without someone standing in there with me, not that he tried anything it was the morality of the situation that I found frustrating. I went in under Suicide watch, stripped me of anything I could use that would be harmful down to my shoe laces. placed in a room where every ten minutes an attendee would walk by. Rounded up like cattle on "Their" time "their" desire for a cigarette and the worst memory of all the one that still haunts me to this day, a Judge telling me I was unfit to take care of myself. The whole time sitting there in a drug induced haze hardly able to even coherently speak or string words together in my mind, yet the words he spoke echoed through my ears, shaking me to my core that another human being had the power with the rise of his hand to take all my freedoms, all of my liberties.
I believe this is the first time I ever truly spoke up about that experience in my life, with good reason it should lay at rest within the darkest recess of my mind. A good thing came from such a horrible experience, I learned very quickly that I was perfectly sane, living in an insane world.
Even now if my insomnia were a drug I would be peaking, I have been up a total of 48 hours with no sleep or "power naps" and far from tired. Yet since I am writing this I am tapping into my creative side of the brain so I must be on the right track to once again centering myself.
The NeoNazi of Today
What could I possibly write that would have any difference on the world today? What could I possibly say that would show the utter disgust I have for our nation's behaviour around the world? Oh, wait I think I just did but even that does not weight up to the amount of shame I feel for what we are doing and have done. We tell our children its wrong to fight, or to steal. We tell our children to play nice, get along and make friends with that person of difference. The whole hypocrisy of the system has me ill, unable to focus and to even write.
I turn on the news and I am taken back by what I am hearing, debates on not whether or not torture should be used but rather that if it works or not. I am hearing mergers of corporate and government, all wrapped up with a bow that is our DHS Extremist lexicon, which brands ANYONE as a terrorist if they follow the constitution, not in such pretty words but yes it does indeed sum it up to that. Alternative media is under attack because they dare speak up where big Corporate media does not, activists protesting for their causes are arrested and attacked.
We have fallen, not by an outside force no that would have been way to easy. No instead we collapsed in on ourselves, allowing a fascist dictatorial government to take control. Oddly since I wrote that I am probably being added to their little hit list for when they bring down the proverbial hammer and drag people off to their "death camps" or "fema camps"
The whole point in this is, how bad have we became when one cannot even speak their own mind? That they are branded as a Extremist or terrorist for having a different opinion? I am sorry but if you are one of those mindless drones following the establishments every command I pose to you a simple question, probably the most important question you could EVER ask, To all those who trust their government, Why trust something/someone that has lied to you and if you don't believe they have or are lieing look at the War on Drugs, Anyone knowledge on this subject knows they have lied to us about Cannabis for Years, what on earth makes you think they have not lied to you about something else? perhaps a world government hell bent on taking our sovereignty?...
Give it some thought, then look back in history and tell me we are not one step away from being a complete NeoNazi regime?
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